Found 746 results
46.4s
The first thing I want to say is that I love havin' you here. I know you do. [Matt] No, I… I love it. But what worries me is that if you're here… you know, if you're… if you're here for an extended period of time, we're gonna end up gettin' on each other's nerves. In just six months? That's why I was thinking maybe you could leave when my mom leaves. What would I look like goin' home before I know that you are capable of taking care of my newborn grandchild? How are you ever gonna know if you don't let me do it? [Jordan] That is a great damn point. Huh? Forty-love. [laughs] Forty-love, Matt. Here you go, brother. Look what I got for you, huh? What is that, Jordan? -I got you a pet. -That's a goldfish. And let me tell you somethin', kids with pets are really happy. Also, they don't get any allergies. Did you know that?
Fatherhood
47.8s
[Matt grunts] [Matt] No, Mom. Listen to me. You don't understand. I'm seri-- It's just, like, she will not stop cryin'. She won't. Well, sometimes I would sing you a little lullaby, and that would quiet you right down. -♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪ -[Maddy continues crying] ♪ How much Daddy needs a bar ♪ [in low tone] ♪ Go to sleep, Maddy ♪ Try to sing higher. [in higher tone] ♪ Go to sleep, Maddy ♪ ♪ Maddy, go to sleep Maddy, go to sleep ♪ -♪ Go to sleep, Maddy ♪ -It's not working, though. ♪ Maddy, go to sleep Maddy, go to sleep ♪ -[claps loudly] -Oh no, that's-- No, that made it worse. That-- Well… She's not a clapper. -[Matt] She just won't stop. -[Jordan] Listen to your daddy! Your daddy said go to bed, Maddy.
Fatherhood
20.5s
Um, I guess I'm kind of surprised you're still single. All those hot single moms at the kiddie park. Stop it. Stop. There's nothing hot about single parents. We are overworked, sleep-deprived, covered in baby vomit. -That's hot. -That's hot? -It's hot. [laughing] -All that is hot? -You're funny. You're very funny. -You've just been through a lot.
Fatherhood