Found 1424 results
37s
MALE STUDENT: Okay, we got time for just one more improve game. For this one, we need a ton of different suggestions. So, we just need you guys to fill in the blank in a sentence that we're gonna set up. So it'll go like this. Oh, I'm so hungry, I wish I had a... Tampon! Okay, but we want... We want it to be actual food so that it, like, makes sense with the game. It's more fun that way. So, uh, let's try it one more time. Oh, I've got to get home so I can feed my... Boner! You know what? Let's just play the game, okay? GIRL: All right, so what would you... Hey, that girl's in my psych class. Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her. You come talk to her with me. Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. Go. All right, all right. Coming to the stage, we got...
22 Jump Street
51.2s
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't mean that. You know that, right? I am such a bitch when aunt Flo shows up. It bleeds so much, it's crazy. It's like the elevator doors opening in the shining. Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man. Worked for you last night. (CHUCKLES) You are so clearly forcing Eric into this relationship. Eric, am I forcing you into anything? Yes. (CHUCKLES) See? Look, they sent us in undercover at a college to find the dealer of this new synthetic, and no one will tell us anything. That's 'cause you guys look like fucking narcs, all right? College kids aren't dumb like Eric. I was supposed to go to Berkeley. Well, they gave us a picture, so we do have that. Well, that's your lead, motherfucker! That's what you start with. I know, but we can't see his face, so we don't know who it is. We don't know who it is. I'm Schmidt. My pants are filled with doody. (GROANS) That's you. That doesn't sound anything like me.
22 Jump Street
34.4s
That's a weird time to be q-tipping. You're all fucking pussies! Dude, you don't have to do this. What? I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm not gonna get... Whoops. (GRUNTS) Shit. Whoa. Dude, I am so sorry. It's all right, man. Don't worry about it, man. Are you sure? All right... Yeah. Ow. Shit. I got it. Okay, I got it, I got it. Ow! That's fine. I'll get it. No, no, let me get it, let me get it. No, I got it. Let me just get it. No, let me get it. I got it, I got it. Let's just... Dude, I'm sorry. I got my q-tip in your meat, bro. No, man, I got my... I got my meat in your q-tip. It's like a whole new type of sandwich. Like, a meat q-tip. (CHUCKLES) Like a meat-qute.
22 Jump Street
19.1s
You sort of sound like that. That doesn't sound anything like me. That doesn't sound anything like me. It's not not you. Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now. (BABBLING) That's Schmidt being a little bitch. That's just not a good impression. WALTERS: Whoa! Nice job, super sleuths. Did you even bother to look at the fucking picture?
22 Jump Street