SCHMIDT: I just want to say that it was bizarre not to share the fact that your daughter went to mc state. I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your motherfucking nuts off. What if captain gets to punch you in the face one time, really, really, really hard? Nah.
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♪ ♪
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What the fuck? Is that vodka? Welcome to zeta, pledges! (LAUGHING) Yeah, buddy!
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ALL: Whoo! Which way? Which way? Which way? SCHMIDT: Whichever way's cheaper! Right? You went right? You could've gone in a parking lot, you went to the sculpture garden? Do you know how expensive that's gonna be?
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That is just like a little helmet machine.
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Maya.
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Fuck! Ow!
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(STAMMERING) Nothing else? They had five guys in the draft last year. I mean, Brad, this could be our shot. We're like the dynamic duo, bro. We're like Batman and Robin. But we're both Batman. What do you want to be, like, a stockbroker? Or a cop? Dude, your ceiling is, like, so high.
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Don't be a pussy!
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(PANTING) So many fucking stairs.
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Okay.
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Because we have guns. Schmidt, run! Get him! Go! Go, go. Go! Shit! (GUNS FIRING)
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(CLICKS)
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It's me! It's me! Shit. (CHUCKLES) You made it, dude. Did you get Mercedes?