Found 446 results
1m7s
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. I was a recall coordinator. My job was to apply the formula. Here's where the infant went through the windshield. 3 points. A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour. The rear differential locks up. The teenager's braces are wrapped around the back seat ashtray. Might make a good antismoking ad. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? The father must've been huge. You see where the fat has burned to the seat, the polyester shirt? - Very modern art. - Ha ha ha! Take the number of vehicles in the field, "A," multiply it by the probable rate of failure, "B," then multiply the result by the average out-of - court settlement, "C." "A" times "B" times "C" equals "X." If "X" is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one. Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? You wouldn't believe. Which car company do you work for? A major one.
Fight Club
44.1s
Oh, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer. Yeah, man. I should find a hotel. Oh. What? What? A hotel. Yeah. Just ask, man. What are you talking about? Oh, God. 3 pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask. What? You called me 'cause you needed a place to stay. Oh, hey, no, no, no. Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask, man. Would that be a problem? Is it a problem for you to ask? Can I stay at your place? Yeah. Thanks.
Fight Club
49s
Was-Was it ticking? Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking, 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Sorry. "Throwers"? Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the thrower's gotta call the police. My suitcase... was vibrating? 9 times out of 10, it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article a dildo. Never your dildo. I don't own a- I had everything in that suitcase- my CK shirts, my DKNY shoes, my AX ties.
Fight Club
33.5s
You wake up at SeaTac. S.F.O... L.A.X... You wake up at O'Hare... Dallas-Fort Worth... B.W.I... Pacific, mountain, central... Lose an hour, gain an hour... Check-in for that flight doesn't begin for another 2 hours, sir. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor international... ...the aircraft has come to a complete stop. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
Fight Club
36.3s
Rain trickled down through the plaster and the light fixtures. Everything wooden swelled and shrank. Everywhere were rusted nails to snag your elbow on. The previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in. Hey, man, what are you reading? Listen to this. It's an article written by an organ in the first person. "I am Jack's medulla oblongata. Without me, Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing." There's a whole series of these. "I am Jill's nipples." "I am Jack's colon." Yeah. "I get cancer. I kill Jack."
Fight Club
31.2s
Home was a condo on the 15th floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete's important when your next-door neighbor lets her hearing aid go and has to watch game shows at full volume... Or when a volcanic blast and debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects blows out of your floor-to-ceiling windows and sails flaming into the night. I suppose these things happen.
Fight Club