This is where we perform our pre-implantation genetic diagnosis. We can eliminate hereditary diseases, such as cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, sickle-cell anemia. The list goes on and on, really. Wow.
Ted 2
4.3s
TED: So do you say "Arizona State University" or do you just say "HPVU"?
Ted 2
12.5s
We better get going. We got two hours of driving left and I'm kind of beat. Yeah, we got to be well rested for tomorrow. I'll drive. You can take a nap. You don't have a license. Who cares? Johnny lets me drive every once in a while when he's too hammered. I'm a fucking pro!
Ted 2
4.7s
Hey, Johnny! You did it! Right here, buddy. Ew. I mean, awesome! (CHUCKLES)
Ted 2
2.4s
Take a look. (CHEERING)
Ted 2
1.4s
Thirsty, Urkel?
Ted 2
6.6s
Kidnapping only applies to people. And you, Ted, you're property. Yeah, so is that fucking hairpiece.
Ted 2
1.8s
Ted! Ted, hello?
Ted 2
15.8s
Isthatyou? Uh, yeah, he had a little too much to drink. He puked a pile of cotton all over this little girl in a stroller so we're gonna take him back and sober him up. Ah, rock on, Ted. Eff yeah. Hey, guys, be careful out there. Some nerd spilled his lunch.
Ted 2
1.6s
Oh. No way! (CHUCKLES)
Ted 2
4.6s
Uh-huh. All right, well, good luck with your dick, there. Right on. You, too, man.
Ted 2
1.7s
I have $40, here.
Ted 2
9.1s
Oh. Yeah, okay, yeah. Too bad. You're missing out on a great guy. Um, do I just spit in my hand or do I get a lube or something? A magazine?
Ted 2
5.5s
We're gonna figure out what makes you real, and then we're gonna make millions of Teds. One for every child in the world.
Ted 2
4.4s
And, look, regardless of all this shit, you're still the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
Ted 2
8.2s
And if that is not big enough news, Hasbro will be unveiling a brand-new line of Transformers merchandise next fall.
Ted 2
1.9s
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
Ted 2
15.7s
Oh, Jesus Christ. You got to be kidding me! Now, we're assholes. Look what you did. I swear to God, I'll kick your goddamn ass! Who was it? Uh, sir, I apologize for my 5-year-old son. (m KID'S VOICE) I'm sowwy! Sowwy, sir. Cookie Crisp in your bum-bumzies. I'm sowwy. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
