TED: Oh! Fuck me! TAMI-LYNN: What's the matter? TED: That can't be normal. He's got to be sick. TAMI-LYNN: He's not sick, it's just baby doody. JOHN: Yeah, that's what babies do, Teddy. TED". Oh, you don't think this diaper's gross? JOHN: No. TED: All right. Here, catch. (DIAPER SQUISHING) JOHN: Oh, Teddy, What the fuck? fiSCREANhNG) (TED LAUGHING) Holy shit! Oh, you motherfucker! (CAMERA CLICKING) TED: Hashtag "Shit happens."
Ted 2
11.1s
No, asshole, he ain't got a dick because he's a fucking toy! What's your excuse? Whoa-ho! Take a burn! Yeah! How's your tongue taste in your own ass, Poindexter? Yeah! How'd you... What? (GAVEL BANGS) Order!
Ted 2
8.4s
Yeah, that's actually why I'm calling. (BOTH GRUNTING) Yeah, I was wondering if, um, maybe you would consider helping us try to overturn the verdict.
Ted 2
3.5s
Well, under the circumstances, I guess it's okay.
Ted 2
1.7s
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
Ted 2
1.5s
(TEMPO INCREASES)
Ted 2
2.3s
And my fucking nose came off.
Ted 2
4.7s
That weed is really good. It reminds me of the strain I smoked last summer called "Here Comes Autism."
Ted 2
10s
Uh, okay, why are we doing this back here? Well, you're a celebrity. I just don't want you to get mobbed when people recognize you. Yeah, that's true. I've been mistaken for an Ewok three times today. All right, let's do this.
Ted 2
10s
Good morning. Now... My name's Donny. (SIGHS) Hi, Donny. Now this is a multi-platform release, so I want a full report on all... Fresh cakes.
Ted 2
7s
I mean, I've never voted. I don't have a driver's license, I don't pay taxes. I mean, hell, this is the firstjob I ever had.
Ted 2
5.3s
I need a full report on all the placement of our merchandise. Contact Bob Jennings atJavHs“.
Ted 2
4s
Yeah. Hey, that's the name of the South Korean president. (LAUGHS) Right?
Ted 2
3.9s
This Patrick Meighan's got a classy setup, huh? Mmm.
Ted 2
2.9s
Do you understand? (WHISPERS) Yes, I do.
Ted 2
2.5s
Ah, Ms. Jackson. Do come in.
Ted 2
27.9s
MEN: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Watch it. Jesus! Watch where you're going! It's a crosswalk, jackass! We have the right of way! Yeah. BOTH: Whoa! Hey, what the hell you doing walking around dressed like Star Wars? It's Comic Con, you idiot! We're going to the Javits Center. You're the idiots, because you three guys would never be walking together! Yeah, you're his boss and you two guys are enemies! Yeah, bite me, Captain Kirk! VVhoa.VVhoa.VVhoa. Hey! Come on. That's Star Trek! Yeah, that's two different franchises. Yeah, sorry, guys. She doesn't know. Nah, it's okay. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
Ted 2
4.4s
And, look, regardless of all this shit, you're still the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
