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1.7s

(SOBS) So beautiful.

Ted 2

7.6s

It's the intermediary station before insemination. Are you submitting? No. My friend is, uh, yanking out a sample in one of the rooms.

Ted 2

17.2s

Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few test questions. Are you ready? Yep, bring it on. You're on the stand, the DA says, "Ted, do you consider yourself to be human?" Objection! Sustained! No, the witness can't object. Overruled! Sidebar? Guilty! Speculation! Hearsay! Briefcase! Bailiff! Disregard! In my chambers! Stop beavering the witness! I rest. We could totally be lawyers. Bang.

Ted 2

1.9s

I wanna have a baby.

Ted 2

22.1s

Mr. Jessup, we could take him back, with only a trivial degree of legal consequence if we were even caught. And why would we do this? Sir, if we could cut him open to see what makes him tick, we could manufacture millions of Teds for every child in the world. Hasbro would double its profits overnight.

Ted 2

5.9s

You know, it really is a very special, very unique thing to be human.

Ted 2

3.2s

Look, I'm not a scientist, okay?

Ted 2

1.5s

(EXHALES)

Ted 2

3.9s

Do I have fuck-me eyes? No, you have "Give us the ring, my precious" eyes.

Ted 2

5.9s

Do you know how devastated I was? I put a frowny face on Facebook! How am I supposed to explain that to everybody?

Ted 2

4.2s

And from what I know about you, at one point in your career that would've been enough.

Ted 2

1.3s

I see.

Ted 2

4.7s

Teddy, come on, dude! No, I'm just saying. You look like you're hitting it off, you know?

Ted 2

1.6s

Wake up, Johnny.

Ted 2

2.5s

That's a hard sell, even for me.

Ted 2

1.5s

(GROWLING)

Ted 2

8.2s

Hey, Johnny, come on. It's almost 7:00. We got to get up there. Hey, Sam, you want in on this? What is it? On Tuesday nights, we get fucked up and throw apples atjoggers.

Ted 2

3.2s

No one's going to kick up a legal fuss over property.

Ted 2

Found 785 results

(SOBS) So beautiful.

It's the intermediary station before insemination. Are you submitting? No. My friend is, uh, yanking out a sample in one of the rooms.

I wanna have a baby.

You know, it really is a very special, very unique thing to be human.

Look, I'm not a scientist, okay?

(EXHALES)

Do I have fuck-me eyes? No, you have "Give us the ring, my precious" eyes.

Do you know how devastated I was? I put a frowny face on Facebook! How am I supposed to explain that to everybody?

And from what I know about you, at one point in your career that would've been enough.

I see.

Teddy, come on, dude! No, I'm just saying. You look like you're hitting it off, you know?

Wake up, Johnny.

That's a hard sell, even for me.

(GROWLING)

Hey, Johnny, come on. It's almost 7:00. We got to get up there. Hey, Sam, you want in on this? What is it? On Tuesday nights, we get fucked up and throw apples atjoggers.

No one's going to kick up a legal fuss over property.