Found 260 results

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Mmm.

Jennifer's Body

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How are you friends with Colin Gray? I thought Colin Gray only talked to the Dead Girls. I just am. We have Creative Nonfiction together. He's a really good writer. He's, like, all dark and emotional and stuff. Oh. Well, I'm like that too. I mean, I can relate. You know, I'm not all obvious about it like a poser.

Jennifer's Body

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Before the period ends, I'd like to make an announcement.

Jennifer's Body

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I will. Do you hear me, you bastard?

Jennifer's Body

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I didn't know you were up. Yeah.

Jennifer's Body

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Okay. Great, yeah. Okay. I'll text you my address.

Jennifer's Body

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I'm not gonna bite you.

Jennifer's Body

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Where are you going? Huh? We got a waxing moon tonight, you guys, just like the ritual says. Please!

Jennifer's Body

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So, you remember the night ofthe fire? I got really messed up. And those guys from Low Shoulder - totally evil. They're basically, like, agents of Satan... with really awesome haircuts. dd Where- Where are we going? You don't have to talk ifyou don't want to. d All right, dear Have a nice year d d Teach the mean girls d d How to be feared d Are you guys rapists? - dd - Oh, God, I hate girls. d You could be satisfied d Are you even sure if she's a fucking virgin, man? Yes. Yes, I'm a virgin. I'm a virgin. I've never even done sex. I don't know how. So you guys should find somebody who does... know how. See, Dirk? I told you, man. You owe me a beer. - What did they do to you? - Just let me finish. dd So they drove me out to the falls... and I kept looking for a way to escape, but it's really dark out there.

Jennifer's Body

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No! No! With the deepest malice, we deliver this virgin unto thee. Dude, that is a hot murder weapon. It's a bowie knife. Bowie? Nice. - Here we go! It's gonna be gnarly! - No, please, please! No, please, God! Wait a second. I just thought of something. Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me. You don't know me, but you make me so happy. I tried to call you before, but I lost my nerve. d I used my imagination d d But I was disturbed d dJenny, I got your number d d I need to make you mine d dJenny, don't change your number d d 867-5309 d d 867-5309 dd They killed you. I'm still here, aren't I? They did go all Benihana on my ass with that knife and it should have killed me, but for some reason it didn't.

Jennifer's Body

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Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There's so many of us, and we're all so cute... and it's like, ifyou don't get on Letterman... or some retarded soundtrack, you're screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope. We're in league with the beast now, and we have to make a really big impression on him. And to do that, we're going to have to butcher you and bleed you. And then Dirk here's gonna wear your face. Relax. I'm kidding about the face. The rest is gonna happen though. Why don't you just get a publicist? We can make T-shirts. I could be a part ofyour street scene. Please. Sorry. No can do. But you know what? Maybe we'll write a song about you. As a fan, that'd be cool, right?

Jennifer's Body

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Thank you. - All right. - That's it? Yeah. I found it online. "We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of"� What is your name again? Tiffany? My name is Jennifer. Super. "We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of Jennifer from Devil's Kettle. " Please, please. Please, please, don't do this. I'll do anything. I'll do anything you want.

Jennifer's Body

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I don't know ifwe should go through with this. Dirk. Do you wanna work at Moose Hoof Coffee forever? I don't, okay? Do you wanna be a big loser, or... do you wanna be rich and awesome... like that guy from Maroon 5?

Jennifer's Body

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Great. But get it nice and tight, though, 'cause I don't wanna get fuckin' clawed.

Jennifer's Body

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Especially Chip.

Jennifer's Body

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It's, like, some X-Men shit, right?

Jennifer's Body

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Sure, we all hoped this would be the last funeral, but I knew better. So I did some research. Paranormal research.

Jennifer's Body

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"Offering a virgin to Satan. " "Ifthe sacrifice is impure- Human and demonic relations"� "Destroying a demon. "Demons are weakest when hungry, but a blade to the heart is the surest way to kill the beast. "

Jennifer's Body