Found 1403 results
21.3s
22.3s
Give me that! What is this? Hey! Hey, hey, hey... Leave my illegitimate black son alone. We were just asking him to dance. - Well, he don't wanna dance. - Well, maybe you wanna dance instead. - I don't wanna dance... - Colonel Sanders! It's all right. It's all right. Let's not dirty this place up. It's a shrine. Sinatra sang here. Parking lot?
Dirty Grandpa
37.9s
♪ And everything is all right ♪ I got a beep from Kim And she can fuck all night ♪ Called up the homies and I'm asking y'all ♪ Which park are y'all playing basketball? ♪ Get me on the court and I'm trouble ♪ Last week fucked around And got a triple double Can I say it? Can I say it? No! No, no. - Say it! - Say that shit! ♪ Freaking niggas every way like MJ ♪ I can't believe today was a good day? I'm totally gonna fuck him tonight. Can I watch? 'Cause I kind of want to fuck him too now.
Dirty Grandpa
48.3s
It's actually the guy on the moped with the iPad. NSA stopped using utility vans years ago. I figured once you sent the camera back, it was time to take drastic measures. What'd he say? Are we doing this? Plan B, have Pam kidnap you. - I've got to get her back. - You want me to kidnap her? I'll bring her back to you in a box, bro. She's on a bus headed west on I-85 across Florida. Her boat leaves in four hours. It was easy to track her down because of the whole Middle Eastern thing. Bet you never thought you'd 69 a girl because of the Patriot Act. You 69 her, man! And then she's dead. Are you kidding me, Pam? This is what you drive? Oh, yeah, it is so easy selling kids drugs from an ice cream truck. It's crazy! - Jason! Jason! - Go, go, go, go! Jason, stop! Stop right now. Stop! Stop!
Dirty Grandpa
1m7s
So you're a lawyer at your dad's firm now, is that right? That's right, and Meredith is too. You know, her dad is one of the managing partners there, so... - I know, that's... - Yeah. It couldn't have worked out better. Because it's just that I remember when you were in high school, you told me how much you wanted to be a photographer, travel the world. That sort of thing. You remember when I got you that subscription to Time magazine? Yeah, I used to be into photography, but, um... I mean, with Dad being at the firm, pfft, it just made so much more sense to focus on a college curriculum that stressed the law school track. I mean, I love what I do, Grandpa. Being a corporate lawyer is awesome, I get to handle SEC compliance... - No shit! - Yeah. Yeah. You handle SEC compliance? - LP agreements. - Oh, man, I didn't know that. - LLC agreements. - You're shitting me! Being a corporate lawyer, it's got its upsides. - You know what I'd rather do? - What? I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a fucking hot air balloon. That's me. I'm gonna hit the liquor store over there, get some more of the creature. Meet you back at the Dildomobile in five. You're paying the check, Alan Douche-owitz.
Dirty Grandpa