Hey, Mom, this is Mark, Uncle Ned's bastard. Wow. I know. Someone had a kid with Uncle Ned. Ew.
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1.6s
You see him? - She's nice.
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5.2s
I was just thinking that the last time I was here... ...my husband asked me to marry him.
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8.5s
Yeah, you did have that six-pack thing going. Is there any chance I'll see that again? I knew you were checking me out.
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1.5s
Kid.
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6.2s
- There's no way in hell that's happening. - Excuse me? I said, "There's no way in hell that that is happening. "
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2.5s
- Oh! - Oh, that's wrong.
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7.3s
We're going shopping. - Really? - Yes, your shirt is bedazzled. Bedazzled with rhinestones.
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20.9s
Does she go to our school? Do I know her? Tell me her name. I want to know her name. - No, Maggie. No. - Okay. You tell your girlfriend she better keep a close eye on you. Sweet baby Jesus.
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34.1s
I'm going back to high school, Ned! No! No, no. No way. Your spirit guide would not waste transformation magic... ...on you reliving your senior year and going to prom. No. Ned, this is my chance to have my life over, but to do it right. - Wouldn't you, if you had the chance? - No. I'm rich, and nobody stuck my head in a toilet today. Sure. Besides, it's not just about me. - It's about you. - No, it's much bigger than me. - It's about you. - Okay, maybe it's about me... ...but what's wrong with that? I have not done anything for me since 1989.
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12.8s
Um, Ned, Ned, look, I'm your best friend, all right, and I'll always have your back. But there's only so much I can do when you show up in a dress. O'Donnell. How about you and Boy George join us for this picture? - Yep. Yep. - Just one sec.
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4.7s
If I wanted you in the cafeteria, I would've taped you to a lunch lady.
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4.6s
But if you let me, I swear, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
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3.6s
You can? No, not at all.
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17s
- Beckham. - No, what? Oh, the clothes. Oh, right. To the untrained eye, I look like a total idiot. You do, in fact. Ah. But it's actually a seduction technique known as "peacocking. " My outfit serves the dual function of icebreaker and attention-getter.
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6.5s
I thought I wanted a second chance at life... ...but now I know I just want a second chance with y...
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13.7s
MAN You're sure about that? Jesus.
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6.9s
Mike, if you could slide to your left so I can congratulate our new RSM, Wendy! Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
