Found 1403 results
48.3s
It's actually the guy on the moped with the iPad. NSA stopped using utility vans years ago. I figured once you sent the camera back, it was time to take drastic measures. What'd he say? Are we doing this? Plan B, have Pam kidnap you. - I've got to get her back. - You want me to kidnap her? I'll bring her back to you in a box, bro. She's on a bus headed west on I-85 across Florida. Her boat leaves in four hours. It was easy to track her down because of the whole Middle Eastern thing. Bet you never thought you'd 69 a girl because of the Patriot Act. You 69 her, man! And then she's dead. Are you kidding me, Pam? This is what you drive? Oh, yeah, it is so easy selling kids drugs from an ice cream truck. It's crazy! - Jason! Jason! - Go, go, go, go! Jason, stop! Stop right now. Stop! Stop!
Dirty Grandpa
41s
New dad at 72. Great fucking idea. Hey, watch your potty mouth! - Jesus, sorry... - Yeah, clean up your language. And show some respect for your new grandmother! - I'm sorry, honey. - That's all right. And sweetie, would it kill you to visit us sometimes? - We never see you. - Sorry, Nanna. Did you get that card I sent for your birthday? - Yeah. - Mm-hm. Yeah, with the $12 check? It was a very nice touch. Thank you. Thank you, that's right. Hey, are you gaining some weight? - You look a little heavy in the face. - No, what are you talking about? - Where'd this come from, huh? - What? - You wanna... - Where'd these guys come from? - What? - Wanna go get the car? - Yeah. All right. - Okay. I'll pull around the minivan. Go to Daddy. There we go, come to Daddy. All right.
Dirty Grandpa
59s
All right, we're about to boat race a bunch of those fucks from the University of Georgia up in the room. So... Oh, my God! University of Georgia! - No way! You're a Hornet? - Afraid so. Well, you guys should get in there then, Edward Jizzumhands. Well, thank you. We will. Good, that's great. I'll see you up there. Oh, good. Well, you say we'll be there and on time. - Sweet. I will. - Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. - No, we should. - Let's do it now. - Yeah, I'll see you up there. - What... Come to the hotel. By the pool. Georgia sucks! Can we please just go? They've got boyfriends. Those meatdick fucks? They're not their boyfriends. They're just seniors, and they're all just terrified and speed-fucking each other before the ship goes down. Didn't you ever go on Spring Break? No, I didn't go to Spring Break, 'cause I was studying for law school. Besides, I can't chug alcohol anymore like I used to, Grandpa. I've developed, like, a gag reflex. - A gag reflex? - Yeah. You're chugging a beer, not taking down a horse cock, Jason. Come on.
Dirty Grandpa