Found 881 results
1m3s
You all set? Yeah, I just gave my money to the other waitress, sorry. There is no other waitress. I'm the only one who's ever worked here. Ever... Shit! The fucking piece of shit car never starts! Hey! God, he's like a Mitt Romney Terminator. Excuse me! Uh, sorry, my shift is actually over, so... Sorry... - Oh, no way. - What? - I know you. - No. Yeah, I do. You were in my photography class. You took all those landscapes. Right? - Shadia. - Yeah. Shadia. Holy shit, you're Shadia? - Yeah. Shadia. - Shadia. - Jamba! - What the fuck! Shadia. It means "singer" in Arabic. Or in ancient Arabic, "al-munshida alati tunadi lel-mei." Or, "she whose name calls others to water." - That's actually right. - Uh, Shadia, this is my... Dr. Richards. I teach history at the University of Georgia. You're a professor? Yeah. Why? You looking for some extra credit?
Dirty Grandpa
1m31s
Well? How do I look? Like the keynote speaker at a butt-fucking convention. - What? - What? We're gonna write in the first hole, it's an easy par-4. - No, no, no, no. Hey... - Jump in. - This is against the rules, Grandpa. - Fuck the rules. Jump in. Come on. Not to mention, a breach in golf etiquette. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! - Whoa! Hey! - Out of my way, butt-fuckers! Really? What are you doing? We gotta get this guy to his butt-fucking convention. What are you trying to do, man? What was that all about? Hey. Now there's a million-dollar swing! I'm sorry! Um... You can go in front of us if you want to. We are not very good. No, it's a good cut, you're just not bending your knees enough. I'm a licensed golf pro. You mind if I show you? Yes, please. Maybe bend over a little bit... Here. That feels about right, doesn't it? Hands on my shaft... The shaft. Let me just get my finger in there. One, two, three... Oh! Oh, my God! Did you see that? Thank you! How long have you been teaching golf? Ever since I retired from being an astronaut. It's nice to see some heavenly bodies around here too. Hey, Grandpa, don't you think we should probably start golfing soon... - What the fuck? - Wanna be a lamb and get that for me? - Did he just call you "Grandpa"? - Who, Pepe? He's a retard. Got it pretty bad, too. He thinks I'm his grandpa. He usually sits at home just drawing dolphins all day. We used to let him out on his own, but the raping got so bad that we just...
Dirty Grandpa