- ANNIE: Lot of pressure here. - MAX: Yeah. ANNIE: You miss, you lose it all. MAX: Stay outta my head. And you know you have a distinct advantage with the smaller hands, right? Your goal posts are not as big. Well, I guess you should've married Uma Thurman. Yeah, that would've been great. There's a snap, - here's the hold. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) - Ooh! - And a text. That was interference. ANNIE: Sorry, honey. I know how much that meant to you. - Come on. - Dr. Chin is ready for you. Uh, great. I think we've determined why you've been having trouble conceiving. - MAX: Okay. Let's have it. - ANNIE: Okay, great. Oh, what's that look? Is it me? Of course it's me. I'm not loving your semen. - Oh? - Your count is excellent, but your motility is well below normal. - That's too bad. - What would cause that? It can be genetic, environmental factors. Nine times out of 10, though, it's psychological. Have you been feeling anxious or stressed? No, I don't think so. Not really. (HIGH-PITCHED) Uh... He's always a little stressed. You don't have to write... I'm not... Honey, she's writing it down. Well, Max is very competitive. As am I. We sure are. One of the reasons I fell in love with him. Maybe that makes him a little more prone to stress than normal people. "Normal people"? How long has this been going on, Max? It's not going on. Oh, well, you did say even when you were a kid, you would freak out if you lost at anything. Oh, I was a kid. Especially if you lost to your brother. Hmm. Hey, is that what this is? No. You have been so uptight since you found out that Brooks is coming to town. I don't think that's true. - Could that be a factor in all this? - Let's be fair. Sibling rivalry can be very powerful. Cain and Abel, the Baldwins. - The what? - The brothers. I'm not sure why we're discussing this. She's not a therapist. You're not a therapist, right? With all respect. - No, but I am a doctor. - Sure. And I believe in treating the whole patient. So, what is it about your brother that makes you feel emasculated? Are we gonna do this? We're right next to the room where I masturbated. I think he has it in his head that Brooks is cooler and more successful and hotter than he is. I never said "hotter." He's charming. That's interesting. And is he single? MAX: What's that? I don't know if I mentioned it, but Keith and I are on a trial separation. - Oh. - Keith? Uh, Keith. So, do you think your brother would wanna grab a cup of coffee with me? (SIGHS) Gosh, I don't know. Well, it doesn't hurt to ask. Hurts a little. (SCOFFS) Now, is he a tall fella? 'Cause I'm only 5'2". We're all done with my semen? He is taller than Max. DR. CHIN: Good. ANNIE: But he did date this ballerina once, and she was just a teeny-tiny little thing.
Game Night
53s
You have a good one. Any plans for this evening? MAX: No. Perhaps a game night? We're just gonna stay in, - just the two of us. - Mmm-hmm. - Boring. - Mmm. I see. I do hope you keep me in mind for any future game nights. You bet. I've always enjoyed the camaraderie of good friends competing in games of chance and skill. Yeah. Yeah, well, we'll do that, but tonight it's just the two of us. Three bags of Tostitos Scoops, I notice. There was a special on these tonight. Three for one. Three for one? Yup. How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?
Game Night
24.8s
If Gary sees the others coming, we're screwed. No, no, honey, it's not gonna be a problem. I was very clear with everyone to park far away and just to sneak in quietly, you know. But now, I mean, you don't think we're being dicks, do you? Should we just still invite the guy? He really seemed like he wanted to play. No, no. Debbie was our friend, and Gary was just the creepy husband that we had to put up with. That's true. He's only gotten worse since the divorce. Yeah, we don't owe him anything, right? Fuck him! (THUDDING)
Game Night
32.7s
MAX: All right, you got this. Last one. Oh, that's Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. - (ALL GROAN) - Yes! I'm up, I feel good. Two words. Bill. Overweight. - No. - Single. Out of work. What the fuck? Hairy. Carry, marry. Marry! You. Me. Marry me? - (WHOOPING) - Dude, we got it! We got it! Annie, will you? - (GASPS) - Will you marry me? - Is that a yes? That's a yes! - Yeah! I'm really happy for you guys. - (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) - (ALL CHEERING)
Game Night
12.6s
Ha-ha! You're never gonna be able to hold on to Asia! You hear me? Hey, if you take Kamchatka, and I take Mongolia, we could trap Linda in the middle. - MAX: Starve out her armies. - Hey! You can't form alliances. Worked for Hitler, right? Hmm? You're high-fiving Hitler?
Game Night
12.5s
He always carried a... - Red purse. - Yeah. - And he loved big hugs. - Big hugs. I know. I'm Max. Annie. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Game Night
5.8s
Uh-huh. Plus, it allows Bastian here the opportunity to urinate.
Game Night
1.7s
(RYAN SHOUTING)
Game Night
5.1s
Turn on belt? (GASPS) Turn on belt!
Game Night
36.7s
I'll get right to the point. The Bureau has been tracking a ring of violent kidnappers in this very neighborhood. And we have reason to believe that one of you may be their next victim. (RYAN LAUGHS EXCITEDLY) - (CHUCKLES) - MAX: That's terrible news. Contained within these dossiers are the clues you will require to find the kidnappers. You'd like for us to do that, yeah? The Bureau's... What's the Bureau's role in this? Maybe you guys could take my wife in for questioning because, apparently, she got a secret life - I don't know nothing about. - Baby, this is... Shut up, all of you!
Game Night
1.2s
Peanuts?
Game Night
6.7s
- Fix it? - Yeah. What are you suggesting? I'm suggesting we beat his ass. Jesus Christ.
Game Night
20.7s
These corporations, I don't know what they're doing. (CHUCKLES) Well, you two enjoy each other. It's often we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. - MAX: I think that's it. - ANNIE: Okay. Bye-bye!
Game Night
7.5s
Get off me! (GRUNTING) No! Oh!
Game Night
23.6s
Ooh. Honey, Gary. Don't mention game night, okay? Mmm-hmm. - Good evening, Max. - Hey, Gary. - Annie. - Hello there. Hi, Gary! Just checking the mail. Oh, yeah? Some people check it earlier in the day, but there's always a risk that the mail carrier hasn't come yet. This spares me the chance of a futile trip to the mailbox.
Game Night
1m8s
What the fuck is that? (MAX LAUGHS) I mean, how cool are we? Right? Very, very cool. We are very cool. You're the cool one. You know, tracking the phone is just a great idea. Still on Route 18, huh? MAX: We're catching up to him. Here we come, Brooksie. Can you imagine the look on his face when we find him so fast? You know, baby, I can feel my sperm already coming back to life. - Perfect. - Yeah. So we'll win your brother's car, and then we'll go make a baby in it. Yeah! We'll make him watch us. - Yeah. - Huh? - I don't wanna do that. - No, me neither. Sorry, don't know why I said that. - I'm not into that. - Not a great idea. Okay. Okay, great. Thank you. All right, I got the name and the address of the games company. - Let's go. - Yes! All we have to do now, figure out what "bloodless bite" means. No, we don't. That's why... - Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, no. - Doesn't matter. Let's go. How you gonna be old and young? - That doesn't make sense. - MICHELLE: I know. Guys, hey, how's it goin'? I just wanted to wish you the best of luck tonight. Bye. (DOOR SLAMS CLOSED) - BOTH: No. - KEVIN: Mmm-mmm. What are... What are you doing? Just being a dick. - (BANGING ON DOOR) - KEVIN: Oh, come on. - SARAH: Don't kick him, Ryan! - He's such a good actor! KEVIN: Ryan!
Game Night
12.3s
MAX: Oh, fuck me. A guy who rents a house this big must be making up for something pretty small, I'd say. No, no. No, I've seen his dick. It's pretty great. Well, I tried.