Found 866 results
24.4s
So, your mom is banging my ex? Yeah, I'm not thrilled about it, either. Yeah, well, you shouldn't be. Harold. Kelly. Come here. Come here. There's something, something kind of fun. Come here. Come here. Oh, hey, man. So, this is Harold, and this is Kelly. And, uh, this is...
The King of Staten Island
1m15s
Hey! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, you're so skinny. - Have you been eating? - Yeah. - Hi. - Hey. How are you? This is Ray. - Hey. How you doing? - Oh. - Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah, I feel like I already know you. Your mom talks about you all the time. - Oh, God. - Oh. No, only good stuff, only good stuff. Should we go eat? I am so sick of eating off a tray. - You hungry? - Yeah, I could eat. - Could always eat. - Uh-huh. Beautiful school. "Yeah, I could eat. I could always eat." Fucking asshole. Look at those two angels, huh? - Yeah, I know them. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - You walk them to school, don't you? - Yeah, I know who they are. - Oh, my God. - She's so cute. - Look. Look at those curls. We took them to see Stomp Off-Broadway. - They went crazy! - Oh, my God. I love Stomp. What's Stomp? What is that? It's the greatest musical of all time. Yeah, it's, like, that show where people play the drums on, like, garbage cans and, like, tap with broomsticks. - Stuff around the house. - Yeah. Like, you just see a toaster, we make an English muffin. They-they see a whole song. It's incredible. I know a homeless guy that plays trash can lids on the subway, for a dollar. And then he took a shit on the platform. Oh. Well, you know. I don't know if he's gonna get a Tony for that, but... Maybe if they keep practicing and get an adult diaper, they can, uh, get to Broadway someday.
The King of Staten Island
39.5s
Mom doesn't need to peruse dick. - You know she needs to. - I think she seems happy. You want her to have sex with a ton of people? No, but, yeah, kind of. - I mean... - That's gross. Well, if you knew something was bad before it even started, wouldn't you stop it if you had the chance? It's like that whole baby Hitler thing, you know? If you had the chance to kill baby Hitler before it grew up, wouldn't you do it? Wouldn't you strangle it until its eyes popped out? So, Ray's baby Hitler? Yeah. In this situation, he is, yeah. He's baby Hitler. So, do you want to help me kill baby Hitler? Okay, you're right, Scott. You're right. - I'll see you tomorrow. - Claire! Claire!
The King of Staten Island
59.1s
- Oh, fuck. - You'll be all right. - Oh, my God. - You'll be all right. Guys, I need help! This guy's bleeding! He's losing a lot of blood! - I need a gurney, please! - Oh, thank you. - All right, just hold... Put... - Thank you. Put pressure on it, all right? Hi. This guy's been, uh, either shot or stabbed. I don't know. He's been kind of vague about it. Sir, have you been shot? Stabbed? No. - I fell in a thorn bush. - Okay. Have him fill out this paperwork, and the doctor will call you when he's ready. Do me a favor, man. Can we just switch identities? What? No. Just let me use your driver's license. - We look nothing alike, dude. - No one's gonna know. Just trust me. I'm bleeding. It feels like I have to shit. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm Margie's son. Do you know... I'm Margie's son. I don't know who that is. I'm just filling in. Okay. - I know. - My pain keeps coming. Tell that fucking cocksucker, my father, that I hate him and I love him at the same time and I forgive him. I-I-I do not need to do that, because you're gonna live.
The King of Staten Island
42.2s
Um, well, I've been meaning to ask you. Um... you know, since you're in here, uh, well, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me staying at your house for a little bit. You came up here to ask me that? - I also came to see you. - You came... No, you didn't come to see me. You came to ask me that. And, no, you can't stay at my house. I'm sor... I have nowhere to go, bro. - My house is frightening, dude. - My mom kicked, my mom - kicked me out. - The fuck are you doing with your life? Drive all the way down here just to ask me if you can stay at my house. - No, I-I... - No, you don't love me. I do love you. I'm sorry. I-I... You're right. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry. And you know what? I need you to do me a favor. Anything, bro. Just ask. You got to feed my cat, all right? For the next three to five months. Is there anything else I could do? 'Cause I'm-I'm kind of allergic to cats.
The King of Staten Island
45s
- Ho! - You gang. Part of the gang. Gang. What's that? Uh, it's a tattoo gun. I was giving the homeys tattoos. I want a tattoo. - You're a tough guy? - Really? - Sure, young guy. You want a tattoo? - Yeah. Dude, kid wants a tattoo. That's my guy right there. Bro, you-you can't give him a tattoo. - He's a little kid. - Yeah, there we go. - You want a tattoo? - Bro, I got to practice on something. - Yeah. - He seems old enough. - You a tough guy? - Yeah. You a badass. Come on, show those muscles, kid. - Come on. Both arms, both arms. - Yeah, there you go. - Put 'em up. - You got tickets to the gun show? - There it is. There it is. - All right. - There we go. - What's your name? - Harold. I'm-a call you Harry. Don't. It's Harold. - Oh. - Okay. - Hell yeah. - I like this kid. I need him in my life. He has structure.
The King of Staten Island
16.9s
You're full of shit, man. You're a fucking liar. I'm gonna go walk your kids. No, I'm not fucking letting you take 'em. Fuck you. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, I-I agree with you completely. Why... 'cause that... It was Ray's idea. I don't think I should be taking them, either. I agree with you.
The King of Staten Island
31.1s
What's going on?! What the fuck? - Who are you?! - You're not supposed to be here. What are you talking about?! It's my store! Who are you talking to? - Who is that?! - Go back inside. - Go back inside! - What? Don't tell me to go back inside! I'm handling this! Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No. Get the fuck out of my store! - I just don't want to hurt you, okay? - Get out! - I just... - You're not doing this again, okay?! - This is the third time! - Enough of you guys! - Third time this year! - Shit! Shit! - Get out! - What the hell? - Get off me! - Not today! Not today! Today is Alan Moskowitz's day!
The King of Staten Island
30.9s
Scott. Scott. He's gonna be taking care of you. - Okay? It... - Nice to meet you, Scott. Hi, Harold. It's nice to meet you. For the very first time. If he does anything weird, you tell me. Even if he tells you not to tell me, you tell me. I'm pretty sure he's not weird, but I could be wrong. 'Kay? - Love you. - Okay. - Love you, Mom. - Seriously. Love you, Mom. Bye. Pay attention. Got it. Hold both their hands!
The King of Staten Island