How is someone already throwing up? Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is not weird to you? -I mean-- -Don't look. They're not weird? They're the only people I've ever heard of to smuggle drugs into Mexico. -I don't know, baby. Screw it. -What? Can we for once, just in our lives, just say "screw it" to all the plans and just get on a damn boat?
Vacation Friends
9.1s
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What is wrong with y'all? Are you crazy? We in an airport! No, I will not mule your illegal drugs in my anus! -[laughs] -What?
Vacation Friends
7.5s
It wasn't Phyllis. It was your grandfather and I. We just got off on the wrong foot, and he never gave me another chance.
Vacation Friends
2.1s
Aw. [Bennett chuckles]
Vacation Friends
3s
Never in my life did I think I'd have another friend like Charlie.
Vacation Friends
56.6s
Who the hell are these people? Surprise! -Hey. -Hey. What the hell you doing here? Matter of fact, why you not at work? Nice place, boss. Yeah, I would not have let us come to this either. But we do appreciate the invitation. What you mean "invitation"? I didn't invite you. Who-- Who did invite you? [Ron] Uh, ladies and gentlemen… Good evening everyone, and welcome. -[giggles] -[shaman chanting] What is he doing up there? Captain, uh, permission to say a few words about the happy couple? [chuckles] Hello, everyone. I'm Ron. I'm Marcus's suku'un. Of course, you wouldn't know that if you saw him choking me in the street earlier. -The fuck is he talking 'bout? -Shh. Marcus. Bet you're surprised to see your pals from work, huh? When I heard Kyla and I were your only close friends here, I called Parker Construction myself, and I told them, "You better get your butts on a plane!" 'Cause let's face it, it's times like these when you want your closest friends by your side. I was best man for my army pal, Charlie Anderton. Man, Charlie and I are super close. Like, I talk to him every day.
Vacation Friends
1m3s
-Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Kyla. -[chuckles] Thank you, baby. Isn't he so cute, you guys? Don't you wanna bake him at 350 till his skin gets crispy? [giggles] I do. Um, as you can see, I'm currently with child, which is, like, actually insane because Ron and I were told that kids, like, weren't gonna be in the cards for us. Without going into too much detail, it was a semen issue. You know what I mean? So for us, he could shoot far. Not like my friend Sue's husband who it kinda trickles off the top of the dick like a waterfall. No, when he shoots, he shoots fast. He shoots hard. He shoots, like, a straight shot. So it's more kind of like what's in the shots that's the problem. [chuckles] Anyway, Larry and Nancy, rest assured. Because even if these two choose to not have kids of their own, your legacy is alive and well and kicking right here inside of me in my fertile womb. -This is what I was trying to tell you. -What are you talking about? But something super magical happened when we were in Mexico. And, Marcus, you are destined to play a really important part in our child's life.
Vacation Friends
25.3s
[whispering] I'm confused. I was taught by them to step up and do what's right, and I'm doing it. Pass me the wine. Me and Emily took a trip to Mexico where we met these two. And, uh, one night, we got really drunk. Like, like insanely drunk, like really fucked up. I was toe up, and things got a little, um… a little weird.
Vacation Friends
12.7s
Sexually. It got sexually weird. Which led to me unintentionally, 'cause it wasn't my intentions to do this, I unintentionally gave this woman a baby.
Vacation Friends
13.9s
I am so excited to announce to all of you that this baby is-- Is mine! -It's mine. -[guests gasping, murmuring] The baby she's carrying… It's my-- It's my baby.
Vacation Friends
12.7s
We just wanted to share with you that it's a boy, and we're gonna name him Marcus in your honor. You're not the father. He's not the father. I am. [chuckles]
Vacation Friends
1.9s
I've been trying to tell you that all week.
Vacation Friends
2.9s
It is what it is. That's my baby.
Vacation Friends
1.7s
Actually, no.
Vacation Friends
27.7s
"An exclusive, luxury experience." That's what the website said. This is really gonna bum out the whales. [Kyla] Baby, this is so gross. I won't be able to sleep at night if I know they've gone on this boat. You guys, you should just come with us in our boat. -[Ron] That's a great idea. -Wait a minute. That boat is yours? As long as we're staying here it is. We rented it. What do you say? Our treat. -I mean, I'm down if you're down. -[Kyla gasps] -Yay! -[chuckling] Oh. [laughs] Could you give us a second? -Gonna talk to my lady really quick. -No problem. Not a problem. -Be right back. -See you in a bit. -Baby. -Yeah, babe?
Vacation Friends
16.9s
Yeah, it's just, uh… just whale watching. Wait. I have an idea. We were actually gonna go to the water. We can walk you guys down, all chat and get to know each other a little bit more. -What do you say? -All right. Let's go get changed. [Kyla] Yay! I love your whole everything, by the way. -[man chanting] -[baby crying]
Vacation Friends
13.7s
Goddamn, sailing makes my dick hard. I'm almost at half-mast. Okay, man. Where did you learn to sail a boat like this? [Ron] I did cleanup work off Malaysia one summer. Learn all kinds of stuff when you're at sea. Look at that bird. You know I can tell from here that bird's about to shit.
Vacation Friends
11.5s
[scoffs] Look. The only reason I'm gonna do this is 'cause I love you. Mm-hmm. And it's because you my fiancée now. -Fiancée? -Yeah. -Well, I like the sound of that. -Yeah. Mmm.