And we all know what happens after eight Jell-O shots. We urinate all over ourselves and puke. Okay, so I'm gonna bring up the next comic. - Confidence. Poise. - You know this man. Give it up for Mr. Chris Jones! - Smile. - [ Audience cheering ] - DODD: Chris! - He's like if a serial killer fucked an inspirational speaker. He's like Daniel Day-Lewis, except he sucks.
The Big Sick
11.7s
- [ Laughs ] - SAM: I've tried his warm-up. - It does not work for me. - So unsettling. CHRIS: Just bought a laser printer. Printed out, like, six lasers so far. - Maybe. - KUMAIL: Hey, DODD. Uh, Dalavan's in the crowd tonight. - Can I do ten? - No, five minutes.
The Big Sick
8.1s
You put out chairs, you do five minutes. - You know the deal. - Come on, man. I'll double it up next time. Come on. What are you gonna do in there? I'm making up next week's schedule. Okay, cool.
The Big Sick
7.9s
Who's Bob Dalavan? Bob Dalavan works for the Montreal Comedy Festival, you fucking doof. - He's here? - CJ: Yes. Don't you want to get noticed?
The Big Sick
3.4s
Don't you want to move to L.A.? Hang out with Elijah Wood, and shit?
The Big Sick
14.5s
So, these are my real journals, honestly. And this is the woman who wrote them. - Poor gal. - [ Audience laughs ] Yeah. She-- She has no idea that, like, giant titties are about to sprout and change her life dramatically.