Found 462 results
40.3s
But you. You, my friend, have balls the size of Volkswagens. - Don't think I haven't noticed. - I only thought of them as blue of late. But you're right. They're quite sizable. But not disproportionately so. I think of them as aesthetically pleasing. Yeah, I think I made my point. Are you kidding me right now? Nobody in Sacramento... ...gives a crap about the extinction rate of the Brazilian slug worm. Knowing which celebutante is in rehab is of vital importance? - Your voice makes my hair... - Okay. He is trying to kill me. - He knows I can't eat crab. - It's Crab Rangoon. - Who doesn't eat Crab Rangoon? - Oh, my God. Does anybody see this? - Is that a hive? - No, looks like syphilis to me. You wouldn't even know what syphilis looks like if it weren't for my story.
The Ugly Truth
32.3s
Morning, everyone, I'm Larry Freeman. Another beautiful day in Sacramento. And I'm here with a beautiful woman. - Go, 1. - All right, here we go. Thank you, Larry. - I'm Georgia Bordeney. - Ready for the single on Georgia. For years, there have been concerns about lowering television standards. But many believe that this man and his local public-access show... ...have brought things to a new low. With that, we welcome Mike Chadway. How you doing, guys? Mike, how do you respond to people who say your show is offensive? Well, it is. But then again, so is the truth.
The Ugly Truth
20.9s
- Check it out. Your replacement's on. - Jack Magnum. - My what? - How's it going, Jack? Your replacement? Most of you are watching this show so you can learn how to get chicks. Well, let me assure you, you're in good hands. You're looking at a guy... ...who personally has had sex with over 137 women. Most of them conscious.
The Ugly Truth
35.3s
Hi. Can I get some water for the table? Yeah, a bottle of flat water, please? - Sure. - Thank you. Just one second. I'm sorry. Did you know they've done studies that show... ...tap water and bottled water are the same thing. They passed a law where restaurants have to filter their tap water... ...so it's filtered water, which is the same as bottled water... ...except you don't have to pay 7 dollars for it. I like the way it tastes better. Can I get a Scotch on the rocks too? - Thank you. - Oh, yeah. I thought... I thought in your profile it said you... You like to drink red wine.
The Ugly Truth
27.8s
You're a lesbian. - What? - Well, you must be. I mean, you just described the perfect woman. Why are you so threatened by these qualities? Is it perhaps because you don't possess a single one of them... ...and that is the real reason why women aren't interested in you? Okay. Okay, I'll give you 100 bucks of my own money... ... to go get this guy and bring him down here and let me meet him. Well, he's out there, somewhere. Wait a second. You're not even dating this guy?
The Ugly Truth
37.5s
We got beat by all the network shows, including a rerun of Who's the Boss? The one where the vacuum breaks. It's just a temporary setback. Things will be better tomorrow. You know that guy with the cable-access show... ...on Channel 83 does better. If we program Jerry Springer reruns... ...we'd do a nine-share at a quarter of the price. Please don't tell me you're thinking of killing the show. We're not a family-run station anymore, Abby. I mean, I love you. You're great at what you do. But you gotta get me some numbers. I got two daughters in college and a son in beauty school. I don't know how much you know about Vidal Sassoon, but that shit ain't cheap.
The Ugly Truth