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ART3MIS: Ow! (GRUNTS)

Ready Player One

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The day the contest was announced, the Halliday Journals appeared. He told us to look in his brain. This was the next best thing. At first, it was jammed with gunters looking for answers. Now, the once-crowded halls of Halliday's memories are left to people like me. Parzival. Oh, joy! And how will you eat up my valuable search time today? Gregarious Games, 2029... Office party. Office party. Yes, you've only seen it a thousand times. Why not go back? Each entry into Halliday's Journals is meticulously assembled from personal photographs, home video recordings, surveillance, and nanny cams. All rendered into a three-dimensional virtual experience. Also, Halliday archived every film, game, book, and television program he ever saw, located on the mezzanine. No weapons or mature-themed avatars are permitted within the Journals. Please enjoy your time with us, and happy gunting! HALLIDAY: I like cleaning up. MORROW: Okay, Jim, I'm, uh... I'm going.

Ready Player One

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James Halliday saw the future. And then he built it. He gave us a place to go. A place called the OASIS.

Ready Player One

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First to the key. (HORN BLARES) First to the egg! (HORN BLARING)

Ready Player One

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How the hell did they get away? Do you want the long version? Your guys suck. They failed to kill his avatar, which, if we're offering constructive criticism, was a lame idea and only would've slowed him down. Whereas my plan, which was cool because I rock, actually worked. He's still on the board. I know that, Nolan. But he won't be for long. I did a search for all the Wades who had recently bought an X1 bootsuit, cross-referenced that with public records, and voila, which is French for... "And then I found out."

Ready Player One

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(ROARING)

Ready Player One

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-(GRUNTS) -(GROANS)

Ready Player One

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This is the OASIS. It's a place where the limits of reality are your own imagination.

Ready Player One

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Pizza, guys.

Ready Player One

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Now, that... That was when I realized that, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place that you can get a decent meal. Because reality is real. You understand what I'm saying?

Ready Player One

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How'd you get here before me? Well, I didn't make a pit stop at the hair salon. -What up, Z? -What's up, Aech? Saved you a spot. Thanks, bro. (BEEPING) I gotta go to the back. Ugh. So you can skim coins from crashed cars? -That's just sad, man. -Fuel's low. Oh, but you still had enough to pay for that Something About Mary hairdo. (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Ready Player One

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ANNOUNCER: Get ready for the feel, the feel of real. X1. No pain, no gain.

Ready Player One

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Yeah! I won.

Ready Player One

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She never left. She's still here.

Ready Player One

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You don't need a destination when you're running on an omnidirectional treadmill with quadraphonic, pressure-sensitive underlay.

Ready Player One

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Hello, Wade. Hello, Mrs. Gilmore. What's the matter? Life getting you down?

Ready Player One

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-(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING) -And what he left behind changed everything.

Ready Player One

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(GRUNTING)

Ready Player One