Exactly. - I see. - P: Ah. Is there anything else I can get you? A gun? We... don't really do guns anymore. PEGASUS: Just... get him a gun. - Mm-hmm. - P: Right, a gun.
P: Right. Haven't actually... done one of these before. It is my obligation under section 14 of the Health and Safety Directive to inform you that the equipment with which you are about to be issued can cause injury and bodily harm.
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(EXHALES): Ah... (CHUCKLES)
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(SIGHS): Whew. You're seriously telling me this is all we've got? Uh, most of them are either dead, having hip operations, or recovering from prostate surgery. (CLEARS THROAT) Okay. LESLEY: Before your briefing, we'll need you to re-sign - the Official Secrets Act. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you. (SOFTLY): Thank you very much. Any of you gentlemen remember this? - AGENT 5: Ooh, the Montblanc Blaster. - Mm-hmm. Haven't seen one of those for years. Take the cap off, and, if memory serves, you've 20 seconds to replace it, or it detonates with the force of a stun grenade. - (OTHERS CHUCKLING) - Oh... (CHUCKLES BREATHILY)
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(BIRD SQUAWKING IN DISTANCE) ("BUMP & GRIND" BY VATO GONZALEZ PLAYING) ♪ Drop ♪ Yo, wha, bump and grind ♪ This one girl make you bump and grind ♪ ♪ Move to the left, girl, move to the right... ♪ Sir? Sir! I just got off the phone to P in London. He's found out who the owner of that yacht is. Jason Volta! The world's most powerful Internet billionaire, sir. And he's in London right now. The prime minister is personally negotiating a trade deal with him.
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(HONKING STOPS, TRAFFIC WHOOSHING) (CHUCKLES): Oh, crikey. So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? You, Jason. (MOUTHS) I want to talk about you.
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ENGLISH: Tea?
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(BELL CLANGING)
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Merci. Merci beaucou-pah. Cheers. I'm not sure I've ever met a man quite like you, Basil. Let me clear up the uncertainty for you. You haven't. (SLURPING)
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(WOMAN SCREAMS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) And what about you... - Basil? - Oh, I'm just here on business. Although it's rapidly turning into pleasure. (CHUCKLES) Hmm.
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(DANCE MUSIC RESUMES)
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Ooh. (SOFTLY): Mm, thank you.
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- English. - (WRY CHUCKLE) You'll leave immediately. My people will give you the full briefing en route. Oh, is there anything you need? Yes. Nerve gas nasal spray, a type four exoskeleton... you should probably start a list... and a garroting watch, with a rubber strap, not the steel bracelet, 'cause the links get caught in the little hairs on my wrist. Oh, and I'll also need a Bough. What's a Bough? - (DOOR OPENS) - Sir! (CHUCKLES) Wonderful to see you! Yes, all right, Bough. We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon. Yes, of course, sir. Ah. I think it's the pin of your buckle, sir, it's caught - on my jumper. - Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough. - BOUGH: Yeah. - If you go to your left, and I'll go to my right... I'm sorry, no. If you go to your right, and I'll go to my left.
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(BEEPING) P: Good morning, sir. I have your Agent Activation pack here. Department issue smartphone. 580-megapixel camera, 4.7-inch retina HD display. (CHUCKLES) Ingenious. And what does it shoot? Poison darts? It... doesn't shoot anything. It's a phone. There's a Twitter handle, Instagram feed, and secure login for the department Uber account. What's he on about, Bough? I need a weapon, not a box of gobbledygook. I think, uh, wh-what Agent English is getting at, sir, is all this is highly trackable. But since we're dealing with a very sophisticated digital target, we might be less visible if we took a more analog, low-tech approach.