Found 461 results
56.7s
Um... Can I have that Milky Way? No, you can't have the Milky Way. That's my Milky Way. There's a bunch... What? I went out this morning, specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party. That's weird. It's not weird. It's my special food. I like it. Back me up on that, Seth. I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way. I want some of the Milky Way. I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way. Oh! Now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way. Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way. It's a fucking Milky Way. A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable. Everyone gets a fifth of everything. I want one-fifth of your T-shirt! I want the bottom part, the belly. I'm not sporting a crop top in your house. I'll cut that shit off and make a headband. You couldn't handle my midriff. Guys, the only issue is, I kind of need the Milky Way. For fuck's sake. No, for real, I have low blood sugar, and if my endorphins drop too low, I'm gonna be a nightmare to be around. What? Your LBS starts acting up, you can have a finger scoop of Nutella, okay? One finger scoop of Nutella. Fair. I'm going to bed. Jesus fucking... Don't touch that Milky Way, Jonah. Night, James.
This Is the End
17s
Oh, my God! I got it. I got it, guys. There's blood all over my floor! Time to relax for a second. Okay, someone should look out the hole. I ain't looking out that hole! Last person looked through that hole got his head chopped off! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is out there might still be out there.
This Is the End
25.7s
Now, fellas, I want you to real sexy right now. We're gonna sing to all the ladies. All the fellas go like this, in your Barry White voice. # Take your panties off # Take your panties off # Come on, Rihanna Take your panties off for me # Come on, Craig, can you fuck off for me? # I'll do one of them things.
This Is the End
30s
I don't know why I'm thinking of this, but remember that time that I got you a fucking Taco Bell gift certificate for, like, 20 bucks, and I bet you that you couldn't eat all of that in one sitting. I do remember that. I remember thinking, "How much food could 20 dollars "possibly buy you at Taco Bell?" And the answer is infinite. And we went to see fucking Gladiator. Yeah. And you sharted midway through the movie. I did. Due to the tigers' appearance. I got scared of the tigers. Yeah. Literally, when the second tiger came out, I went... ...and then I shat. I shat in the theater.
This Is the End
47.6s
What? It's good for you. I didn't know... You're supposed to take six shits a day. That's not true. It is true! You're supposed to shit twice a day. No. That's not true. That's what they used to think. Now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day. So you're not drinking. You're not smoking weed. You're not... No, no, I'm drinking and smoking weed. But... I'm on a cleanse. I'm not psychotic. Look, man, if you stopped eating gluten, you'd feel way fucking better all day. Whenever you feel shitty, that's 'cause of gluten. That's not true. It is. Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten? It's just true. You don't even know what gluten is. I know what fucking gluten is. No, you have no idea what gluten is. I do know what gluten is. Gluten's a vague term. It's something that's used to categorize things that are bad, you know? Calories, that's a gluten. Fat, that's a gluten. Somebody just told you you probably shouldn't eat gluten, you're like, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't eat gluten. " Gluten means bad shit, man, and I'm not eating it.
This Is the End
43.6s
Oh. You know what, actually? We should go to Franco's house soon. He's having a housewarming party. He just finished building his house. I haven't even seen it yet, but it's supposed to be bonkers. I haven't been in LA in, like, a year, and I came here to chill with you. We can chill together, and we'll chill with those other guys. We'll all chill as one big unit. Will I even know anybody there? You know James Franco. James Franco doesn't even know my name. Jonah Hill will be there. Can't stand him. He can't stand me. He's, like, the nicest guy in the world! He likes you so much. He specifically talks about how he likes you. Out of nowhere, he just said, "You know what? "Jay's an inspiration. " There's no way he said that. Also, just can't stand him. Okay, fine. Craig Robinson. Never met him. He's hilarious. Sweats a lot, but he's a great guy. So it's gonna be fun, man.
This Is the End