She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
Superbad
9s
This is for your friends. Here, have another one. Shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Oh, my God. What do we do? - Come on. Come on. - Choose one.
Superbad
10.2s
And lube. Seth? Are...? Are you crying?
Superbad
9.5s
My name? It's M... McLov... McLovin. McLovin? Yeah.
Superbad
15.2s
You look great. You don't look terrible. It's just, like, a bad bruise. Everything's great, just from he... This, just like right there. - Your eye. - Yeah, your eye. Everything else is great. But seriously, I acted like a fucking idiot last night.
Superbad
1.9s
What is this? What's that?
Superbad
5.8s
Does your mom still have pizza bagels? Yeah. Lots. Pizza bagels.
Superbad
3.4s
So can you honestly help me figure out what kind of cover-up to get?
Superbad
55.6s
Why would she end her high school career with me? Becca dated Eric Rosecrantz for like two years. Yeah, but he's a fucking idiot. You're a step up from that dick-load. That's why you need to stop... Will you get this? That's why you need to stop being a pussy and nail her. You could bang her before you leave. And I'm not gonna dance around it, she looks like a good fucker. I'm tired of you talking about her like that, man. What, you can talk about her all day and if I say one thing, it's blasphemy? Well, I don't constantly insult her. I'm not trying to insult her. I'm just saying that she looks like a good fucker, okay? She looks like she can take a dick. Some women pride themselves on their dick-taking abilities. Dick-taking abilities? You think that's good to say about someone? The fucked-up thing is, I actually do, okay? If a woman tried to compliment me on my dick-giving abilities, I'd be psyched. Hey, yo, Seth. What? Did you hear I'm having a big grad party next Saturday? - No. - Yeah.
Superbad
2s
- She's going around the corner. - Come on!
Superbad
3.1s
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
Superbad
6.2s
I was gonna go to the mall. I have to get a new comforter.