She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
Superbad
9s
Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even? - I don't know. It's too dark to see. - We got flashlights. Oh, that's true.
Superbad
5.1s
- What up? - Morning. Morning.
Superbad
3.3s
Sleepover at my house? You wanna come sleep...?
Superbad
4.2s
- Can I hold one? - What? Can I hold one of your guns?
Superbad
2.9s
- He's a crack-up. - I'm just gonna go.
Superbad
7.5s
It was my last chance and I fucked it up and... Your last chance to do what? To make you my girlfriend for the summer.
Superbad
11.2s
And thank you very much for bringing everything, again. Seriously, it really made the night. No, that's how I roll. That's the thing. It's no problems. You'll learn that.
Superbad
1.8s
Fuck.
Superbad
15.7s
So, what's it like to have guns? It is awesome, McLovin. - I mean, it's mindbl... - It's great. I haven't had one for long, a few months, but I'll tell you... ...it's like having two cocks. - Yup. If one of your cocks could kill someone.
Superbad
1.7s
Fuck off, Seth.
Superbad
8.4s
No, I just have something in both my eyes. I don't cry. That's funny. You look... You look... It looks like you're crying. So...
Superbad
15s
You sick sons of bitches! What the fuck? Michaels, are you okay?
Superbad
10.3s
Because I'll do anything. Please, okay? Anything. Like, literally... ...fucking anything. Name anything. Name it. Name it.
Superbad
4.5s
It's awesome. Yeah, I told you the idea would work. I fooled those cops.
Superbad
4.1s
So... Okay, so then we will see you tonight. Go to the ball, guys.
Superbad
1.1s
You saved me?
Superbad
10s
- You're, like, really, really drunk. - So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules. Yeah, I'm actually... I'm not drunk at all. I don't even drink, so it's... I mean...