God damn it. He passed out. All right, we gotta get this guy to the hospital.
Stuber
12.1s
Can you tell me what you see? Three black Lexuses. Lexi? Lexuses? Lexi. Yeah. They're waiting for Tedjo. You should get out of here, man. Things are gonna get hairy.
Stuber
12.1s
You know, generally people who don't want conversation hop in the back. If you sit shotgun, it's sort of code that you're D-T-T. - Down-To-Talk. - I'm more... D-T-shut-the-fuck-up.
Stuber
9.7s
Oh, my God. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die at a hospital for animals. No. Hey, hey. Pull it together, all right? I need you to take out these lights. Level the playing field. I don't have a gun!
Stuber
16.1s
Hey. I need you to send a text for me that says... "He's dead." When my grandmother died she looked so peaceful. These men do not look peaceful. - They look murdered. - Stu. I need Tedjo to think I'm dead.
Stuber
19.8s
Is this an Uber? Man, fuck this! I'm out of here. Hey! This ain't no Uber. I'm undercover. And I'm the bad cop, you little girl. - Open this door! - My partner may look scary... but I'm the wolf in sheep's clothing. - What? - Back at the precinct they call me "Wolf".
Stuber
7.4s
Wow, this place is not gentrified at all. - We're here? - Hey, you think... these guys will be gracious enough to let me use an outlet - to charge my car? - Probably not.
Stuber
1.4s
Are you staring at me?
Stuber
23.9s
You know I can't see. What did you say to her, man? You ruined her night. I don't know. I gave her my Glock. See, that's your problem! You give people Glocks instead of love. Suddenly the Uber driver knows all about parenting. You're just very abrasive and you're insensitive, and you're very scary and you're... Oh, my God! That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about! Why did you do that? To get cops here. Just in case. Let's go. Go, go.
Stuber
22.6s
Okay. We just gotta get out of here and we're home free. I got us an UberSUV, so we can all pile in. Tariq, 4.8 stars, is gonna be here in three minutes. Six minutes! He took a right! You're going the wrong way, Tariq! What are you doing, dude? Everyone, pull out your phones. Call Uber. Uber. Uber. Ride-share. Ride-share. Yeah, dude. We know what Uber is.
Stuber
3.8s
Hello! How many are left?
Stuber
1.2s
I'm blind again!
Stuber
2.7s
Hey. Hey!
Stuber
4.3s
Tough guy, huh? Wanna face me like a man? All right, here we go.
Stuber
9.7s
Where the hell are you going? They picked up your plates. They think you're my partner. If they can run your plates, they sure as shit can find where you sleep! And your girlfriend. You're in this now.
Stuber
21.3s
Five. Technically four. You fainted before Amo got shot in the head. Rhetorical! Rhetorical question, dude! I'm gonna need therapy for the rest of my life. And I don't have insurance. So I'm gonna have to get cheap student therapists who quote white guys with Indian names and tell me that I should meditate. I do meditate!
Stuber
10.1s
Here. Please, no. No, no, no. We're the good guys. He's a cop. I'm with Uber. Go, go, go. Get down, get down. Get down.
