Now I paid for a driver... and I'm getting a fucking driver... with little gold stars. Come on.
Stuber
8.7s
And that was Thor! A lot of security back here. I'm gonna check it out. Stay put.
Stuber
21.2s
Yes! - I'm sorry. - Yes! - So sorry! Oh, God! - Stu! Vic! Vic! Yes! Yes! Let's go! Go! Go! I just hit someone with my car! She'll live. - You hit a crooked cop. - That was a cop? Oh, my God. Are you the bad guy? I'm not the bad guy. Come on!
Stuber
2.1s
Stop it! Stop!
Stuber
56.2s
That's funny. No, seriously, how much do you bench? Two-hundo? Three-hundo? I wanna get up to, you know, having a 45 on each side. Bang those out. Grandfather wore glasses, but glaucoma so... Why are we stopping? - What the hell's going on? - Hi. - Hi. - I'm Sloan. Melanie. - What the hell? - The USC campus, right? - Yeah. - Can I interest you in some Canadian chocolate? Coffee Crisps? - We're actually late... - Nope, we're good... ...so if you could get us there. What the hell's going on? Two young women have just gotten into the back seat of the car. You selected the UberPool option, so... Uber-what? UberPool. You pool the cost of the ride with other passengers going in the same direction. No. No. It's actually very cost-efficient. They're going to USC and he's just... No, no, no. Ladies, official police business. Is that even real? Get the fuck out of the car! - Oh, God! - Go, go! - Move it, move it! - Stop yelling at us! - Grab your shit... - What? No, no. - ...and get out! - Seriously? - No, please come back! - So lame! Please don't penalize my star rating! Not my fault! Come on. Let's go, Steve.
Stuber
8.6s
You're not Chinese. - I'm the racist one? - You look like... if all the ugly people in every race fucked! Come on, let's go. Long Beach.
Stuber
7.1s
Stay right there. Bad things happen to people... but it doesn't affect them if they don't think about it.
Stuber
1.8s
Hurry up.
Stuber
15.1s
Fuck! - You shot me, man! - What the hell did you do? - You said the safety was on! - It was! Oh, my God! He's bleeding out! I killed him! You got shot in the leg. Good for you. Take Pico. Hey, asshole, get your ass back in that car.
Stuber
23.6s
Don't let him out of here! I'm a henchman. I've been aiding and abetting a bad guy. You Stockholm-syndromed me. - That's not cool. - You saved my ass. You saved my ass, kid. You got brass balls. - Don't talk about my balls. - It's me and you. Leave my balls out of it. We're a team, buddy. Make a U-turn. Very funny. I'm not letting Tedjo get away. Not again. I'm driving, and we're going where I say we go. - Stu, turn around! - No! Let go! - Let go! - God damn it... Stu, turn around! This is my car!
Stuber
13.5s
- Fuck! - Damn. Wait. Wait. He has nothing to do with this. All right? Just let him go. He's a good man. I forced him to be here. He's done nothing to you.
Stuber
6.3s
- Vic? - Stu! - Vic? - Get the gun! Grab the gun! Watch out for his fists!
Stuber
1.5s
Easy, Stu.
Stuber
24.9s
No. God, no. I wanted to see your work. And make sure you were safe. But I also didn't have time to run back to Eagle Rock. So it's a three-for-one. For a second there... I actually thought you gave a shit about my work. Hey. This is serious. - I'm close to Tedjo. - Yeah. You're always close to something except for the people who actually need you. - I'm so done. - Hey. Nicole, wait!
Stuber
19.3s
So, um, I know it's only August... but I think I'm gonna do Christmas with Mom and David this year. What about eating here? - It's our Christmas tradition. - No. This is not our tradition. This is your tradition. I hate coming here. Hey, Howard Wu is good people. And I like the food anyway, it's good. So, um, guess your eyes are too banged up to make it tonight?
Stuber
36.4s
Are you... Oh, come on. You need a tissue? Teddy bear? You got a blanky in the trunk you want me to grab? Jesus. I'm really overwhelmed right now. Tears are a natural response to the immense pressure I'm currently experiencing. Yeah, sure. Naturally. Everyone cries. It's good for you. I don't cry. Pico doesn't cry. You cried when you were a baby. Nope. Never. - You don't remember that. - I remember my birth. Oh, you're getting rid of the murder weapon! Take Sepulveda over to Crenshaw. There's a hospital there. Okay, okay. Hospital. Good. It's a hospital. Okay. Oh, God. Oh, God. Come on! Get your ass over here and help me!
Stuber
9.9s
Okay. Well, heroin is so bad. And I think it's worse when kids do it. So I hope you...