I want Mike Chadway to go down in flames. I want Mike Chadway to be nothing but a pile of ash next to you. I want the janitor to come vacuum up the ashes of Mike with his Dustbuster... ...and when he dumps it outside, I want the rats to vomit and defecate...
The Ugly Truth
4.7s
Listen to you. Desperately asking me if you sound desperate.
The Ugly Truth
2s
Morning, Freddy.
The Ugly Truth
4.2s
So how often do you? Do I what?
The Ugly Truth
10.5s
- Right? It's good, right? - No. We should do some stuff on location... ...because you're great when you're interacting with people. I'm sorry, did you just say I'm great?
The Ugly Truth
37.5s
We got beat by all the network shows, including a rerun of Who's the Boss? The one where the vacuum breaks. It's just a temporary setback. Things will be better tomorrow. You know that guy with the cable-access show... ...on Channel 83 does better. If we program Jerry Springer reruns... ...we'd do a nine-share at a quarter of the price. Please don't tell me you're thinking of killing the show. We're not a family-run station anymore, Abby. I mean, I love you. You're great at what you do. But you gotta get me some numbers. I got two daughters in college and a son in beauty school. I don't know how much you know about Vidal Sassoon, but that shit ain't cheap.
The Ugly Truth
11s
And it's a great place to raise a family. Really good school system. The parks are clean and well-maintained and safe. And there's a much lower divorce rate here than there is in New York.
The Ugly Truth
5.8s
Oh, okay. - Hang on a second. - Hang on a second. Sure.
The Ugly Truth
2.9s
Sorry, buddy, that's my toy.
The Ugly Truth
18.3s
- I know. - No, actually, it's a good thing. I'm used to women I can figure out in five seconds. But I can't do that with you. He's an idiot. I figured you out in two. Now, tell him good night and stick your tits out. - We're gonna give this one last shot. - Well, good night then.
The Ugly Truth
45.7s
So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between. And it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers... ...and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with. That sounded almost enlightened. Because once you do peel back those layers, my friends... ...her lady garden awaits. - And he's back. And I'm pretty sure you're gonna wanna fertilize that patch of petunias. Well, thanks, Mike. Coming up after this message, Javier tells us if your petunias... ...are gonna see any rainfall this weekend. I sure hope mine do. I wanna go home, but let's go over the script. Yeah, let's get it done really quickly.
The Ugly Truth
5s
Love it. - And this is Joe, your new producer. - Hi.
The Ugly Truth
3s
All right. I'll just come up.
The Ugly Truth
1.7s
Hey.
The Ugly Truth
3.9s
Man up, Chadway. Come on, you can do this.
The Ugly Truth
5.2s
Well, it certainly can't hurt. Ladies, you look quite fetching.