Think of my son. My son, who had a dream of being a cosmetician. Think about him. Think about Joy. Just do it for me. Today it'll be partly sunny with a cloud cover moving in from my left breast. Low pressure systems are moving up, so expect a cold front.
The Ugly Truth
5.4s
That was a little over the top, but nice try. - Well, thanks. - For what?
The Ugly Truth
12.8s
And I was thinking we should go out for dinner sometime. There is a new French bistro in town... ...and an art opening that got amazing reviews. So I was thinking we could go on Friday.
The Ugly Truth
5.3s
Should I tell Colin to go? No.
The Ugly Truth
5.5s
Yeah, I've got an adult male bonobo monkey in my pants. I'd like to see that.
The Ugly Truth
27.8s
You're a lesbian. - What? - Well, you must be. I mean, you just described the perfect woman. Why are you so threatened by these qualities? Is it perhaps because you don't possess a single one of them... ...and that is the real reason why women aren't interested in you? Okay. Okay, I'll give you 100 bucks of my own money... ... to go get this guy and bring him down here and let me meet him. Well, he's out there, somewhere. Wait a second. You're not even dating this guy?
The Ugly Truth
1.4s
Excuse me?
The Ugly Truth
2.8s
- I'm turned on with the layers. - Want to see these layers?
The Ugly Truth
16.3s
- Holy shit. - Break for commercial. - No. - Stuart said keep rolling no matter what. What? When? This is my show. - Not right now, it isn't. - Not right now. Come on, Larry. I watched your show for years. You used to be this cool, confident cat.
The Ugly Truth
3.9s
I could be having sex right now. Right this way, please.
The Ugly Truth
9.4s
They're so... So... You tell them, Mike. You should tell them. Yes, yes. Yes, you tell them.
The Ugly Truth
1.6s
You're welcome.
The Ugly Truth
2.7s
He came to surprise me. I...
The Ugly Truth
5.3s
The truth about what, Mr. Chadway? What relationships are really like.
The Ugly Truth
17.9s
You've economically emasculated your husband... ...to such a point that he's afraid to want you. I mean, sure, you could dump his ass... ...but, honey, have you seen the eligible men in Sacramento? Oh, God. It's slim pickings for a woman in her 40s, I can tell you. Forties?
The Ugly Truth
1.2s
Welcome back.
The Ugly Truth
1.6s
Mike. Mike.
The Ugly Truth
23.6s
Wait. We need to make one more stop. - Why? I have tons of stuff. - We have to make your hair longer. Men like something to grab onto other than your ass. My hair is fine. There's nothing wrong. Abby, a ponytail implies that you are either operating heavy machinery... ...or emptying the litter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection. Why is it my responsibility to inspire an erection? Isn't that his job? Shut up.
