Found 1093 results
35.3s
Hi. Can I get some water for the table? Yeah, a bottle of flat water, please? - Sure. - Thank you. Just one second. I'm sorry. Did you know they've done studies that show... ...tap water and bottled water are the same thing. They passed a law where restaurants have to filter their tap water... ...so it's filtered water, which is the same as bottled water... ...except you don't have to pay 7 dollars for it. I like the way it tastes better. Can I get a Scotch on the rocks too? - Thank you. - Oh, yeah. I thought... I thought in your profile it said you... You like to drink red wine.
The Ugly Truth
27.8s
You're a lesbian. - What? - Well, you must be. I mean, you just described the perfect woman. Why are you so threatened by these qualities? Is it perhaps because you don't possess a single one of them... ...and that is the real reason why women aren't interested in you? Okay. Okay, I'll give you 100 bucks of my own money... ... to go get this guy and bring him down here and let me meet him. Well, he's out there, somewhere. Wait a second. You're not even dating this guy?
The Ugly Truth
20.9s
- Check it out. Your replacement's on. - Jack Magnum. - My what? - How's it going, Jack? Your replacement? Most of you are watching this show so you can learn how to get chicks. Well, let me assure you, you're in good hands. You're looking at a guy... ...who personally has had sex with over 137 women. Most of them conscious.
The Ugly Truth
32.3s
Morning, everyone, I'm Larry Freeman. Another beautiful day in Sacramento. And I'm here with a beautiful woman. - Go, 1. - All right, here we go. Thank you, Larry. - I'm Georgia Bordeney. - Ready for the single on Georgia. For years, there have been concerns about lowering television standards. But many believe that this man and his local public-access show... ...have brought things to a new low. With that, we welcome Mike Chadway. How you doing, guys? Mike, how do you respond to people who say your show is offensive? Well, it is. But then again, so is the truth.
The Ugly Truth
50.3s
Length is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh, but not so short to see vag. - Vag says you're trying too hard. - You think? Jeans are all about the curvature of the ass. You've... Well, you've got the raw materials. Now all you need is the proper presentation. - Did you just tell me I have a nice ass? - Do you have to be so crass? Jesus. Rule number four: never talk about your problems... ...because men don't really listen or care. - Some men care. - No, some men pretend to care. When we ask you how you're doing, it's guy code for: "Let me stick my dick in your ass." Oh, I know you think Colin is above it all, but trust me, he's a guy. If he's even remotely into you... ...he's probably thought about your orifices at least 10 times. I love how you assume all men are as perverse as you are. Oh, I don't assume. I know.
The Ugly Truth
16.9s
She thinks I'm a genius on days when she's not sexually frustrated. Yes, thousands of lives have been enriched by your wisdom. Excuse me, lady, but you have a boyfriend right now because of me. It may have started because of you, but it's lasted because of me. You're acting like your normal control-freak psycho self again.
The Ugly Truth