Found 796 results
21.8s
Before heading to the market, always call Jamie and ask her if she needs anything first. In fact, before making any decision in your life, no matter how small, call your wife first. Think of yourself as a brain-damaged mule, lost in the desert, helpless, dumb and in constant need of direction. Never take the initiative, never strike out on your own, and never deviate from the plan. Why? Because you are a brain-damaged mule and you are lost in the damn desert!
The Change-Up
26.9s
This is called a suit. You wear one every day. Along with a necktie. Black, not white, socks. - Dress shoes, not shower sandals. - Please. These are awful. - And, of course, underwear. - Come on. No more commando, Mitch, you're a grown-ass man. Put them on. This is called a schedule. It tells you everything you need to do each day. Pick-ups, drop-offs, activities, play-dates, doctor's appointments, etc. You'll notice that there are approximately 50 hours' worth of obligations on any given day. Make it work.
The Change-Up
23.1s
- I would bet, yeah. - Why are you still soft? I don't know. Can we try the no-talking for just, like, three minutes? That's all it's gonna take, okay? Let's do it like we did it on our wedding night. No, no, no. Jamie, what are you talking about, our fucking wedding night? - God! I can't do this! - Why not? I cannot believe I can't do this! What the hell is happening? God damn it! What?
The Change-Up