Found 796 results
20.7s
How did I miss this? I missed all the sex and the drugs and the bad choices, and I just fucking rushed it, didn't I? Wasn't I rushing? You were busy. Rushing to get into a good college, right? And then into a good law school. Once I got into a good law school, I just wanted to get into a good law firm. I met Jamie, we got married, we had Cara, and that was it. I pissed away my 20s, right? Now it's too late.
The Change-Up
40.9s
Mitch. Reminds me a little bit of Sabrina. Yeah! Wait, who's Sabrina? Sabrina. She's this... She's this new law associate at my work. She's so hot. Mitch, is she hot. She's like fall-out-of-a-magazine hot, you know? I bet she's number one on your cancer list, right? What is that? - Come on, you know what that is. - What is that? Every married guy has a cancer list. It's the first three women you'd have sex with if your wife suddenly died of cancer. That's fucking sick. Come on. That's the mother of my children. I know. But I'll play. Yes, she'd be at the top of that list. - It's like a gift. - Yeah. But I interrupted you. Tell me about this one again. God, last week, Tatiana, she comes over, she's wearing this tight black mini-dress, and you know what she says to me?
The Change-Up
48.2s
- Tell me slow. - No, nothing. Because all Tatiana wants to do at 3:00 in the morning is fucky, fucky, rubber ducky. This chick is insatiable! She wants it in every position under the sun. God, you're so lucky. We do the Wheelbarrow, the Arabian Goggles, the Lonesome Dove, the Arsenio Hall, the Jelly Donut, the Pastrami Sandwich, the Wolfgang Puck... And let me tell you something, no man is that hungry. What? I don't even know what these are. - You're married. You're married, Dave. - That's true. Anyway, we start going at it and it gets so intense that my nose starts bleeding. Come on. This is Dracula, Anne Rice-type shit happening right in front of me. Good for you. When all is said and done, when we finish up, and the dust settles, she looks up at me, and she says, "Mitchell, next Tuesday, I am coming back here, "and we're really going to fuck."
The Change-Up