Holy fuck-knuckles, I've got freckles on my taint. How awesome is that? Hey, fag, what are you doing here? Three days to three weeks? You left the kids at daycare? Come, on, Mitch! Those are my kids. I can't do this shit any more. No, no, no. You are going do this shit. You don't get off that easy. My marriage is falling apart, my job is on the line. You are going to be the best possible me you can be right now. Dave, you don't understand. I cannot do this. - Not even for another hour. - You're gonna do it. I don't care! You're going to stay here and do this right! Get out of my fucking way, or I'll drown you in your own goddamn tub!
The Change-Up
5s
And it's like you always say, Dave is a little bit of a pussy.
The Change-Up
10s
Easy, motherfucker! - If you leave now... - Get your hands off me. ...this friendship is over! Fuck you. Don't pull that shit on me. - I got to get the fuck out of here. - I'm serious, Mitch. Shut up! Jamie and the kids mean everything to me.
The Change-Up
1.7s
What are you saying?
The Change-Up
12.6s
Hello. Dave. How are you? Good, thank you. What are we doing here? When was the last time the two of us saw each other? I don't care. Listen. I'm getting married to a very beautiful woman named Pamela.
The Change-Up
7.7s
And I just want him to pay attention to me. And I want him to grab me and kiss me like he used to.
The Change-Up
1.6s
Jamie. What are you doing here?
The Change-Up
6.6s
I'm drowning in my own fear. Relax and calm down. Don't tell me to relax! You did this to me. I can't do it, okay?
The Change-Up
4.7s
Go for Lockwood. Mitch, I'm panicking over here. I haven't been on a date in 18 years.
The Change-Up
2.8s
Thank you. Thank you, America.
The Change-Up
1.8s
I've got my eye on you!
The Change-Up
1.7s
Whoa!
The Change-Up
7.1s
Hello, I'm trying to find... Come on! Look, bring it to me in the office. I don't care. Relax, I'll be there. Yes, sir.
The Change-Up
1.2s
Fuck it.
The Change-Up
2s
Okay, I'm awake.
The Change-Up
1.9s
- It was really great seeing you. - You okay?
The Change-Up
6.2s
Don't act like you didn't tell him. I know it came from you. Don't be a bad influence on him. I though you two might like that.
The Change-Up
5.4s
No, I don't like that. It needs some coverage. Yeah, I'll tell him to grow it out.
