Newsmen are not defined by the easy times... ...they're defined by the hard times. Can you imagine Ted Koppel or Tom Brokaw... ...working with their wives as co-anchors? No. Because they couldn't handle it.
The Ugly Truth
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Have you seen the ratings from yesterday?
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9.7s
Man, we're a chicken household. - We are. - Tell Larry to throw it to Javier... ...while she pulls it together. - Or is it okay? - It's good. - Javier, do you like it?
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- You sure you don't want any leftovers? - When we return... ...our live Skycam traffic update. - Okay. And guess who's in rehab this week. - Stand by to roll break. - Also, how you can adopt... ... your very own slug worm, when we come back. - Roll your break. - How about salt? Salt make it better?
The Ugly Truth
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- That good? - I have to say, Rocco... ...this is the best chicken cacciatore I've ever tasted. I knew you'd like it. It's duck cacciatore, actually. - Oh, no. - Did he just say "duck"?
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Are you alert? Okay, well tell them... No.
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12.9s
- Morning, Freddy. - Morning, Abby. - You look awfully pretty today. - Oh, is it that bad in there? - Good morning. We got problems. - Morning. There are no problems, Joy, only solutions. The traffic camera is down and we have no B-roll for our traffic segment.
The Ugly Truth
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And it's a great alternative to chicken. It kind of tastes just like chicken, right? Duck, like "quack, quack" duck? - Get ready to roll to break. - Yeah. - Whoa, duck. - Yeah.
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I should not be letting corporate management... ...dictate the content of this show. It's my show. I control it. I should skip the date tonight. Stay home, think up some ideas for sweeps. Absolutely not, Abby. You should be out there observing humanity.
The Ugly Truth
16.9s
It's just a matter of looking chaos right in the eye and telling it to eff off. You guys did great. Thank you. I think it's time for a new chef on this show. I do. Now, come on. Rocco's been with us... - Abby? - It's this upsetting? Hey, Stuart wants to see you. He's freaking out. Oh, he got the ratings.
The Ugly Truth
1.5s
I don't know how you do it.
The Ugly Truth
40.3s
But you. You, my friend, have balls the size of Volkswagens. - Don't think I haven't noticed. - I only thought of them as blue of late. But you're right. They're quite sizable. But not disproportionately so. I think of them as aesthetically pleasing. Yeah, I think I made my point. Are you kidding me right now? Nobody in Sacramento... ...gives a crap about the extinction rate of the Brazilian slug worm. Knowing which celebutante is in rehab is of vital importance? - Your voice makes my hair... - Okay. He is trying to kill me. - He knows I can't eat crab. - It's Crab Rangoon. - Who doesn't eat Crab Rangoon? - Oh, my God. Does anybody see this? - Is that a hive? - No, looks like syphilis to me. You wouldn't even know what syphilis looks like if it weren't for my story.
The Ugly Truth
1.5s
Can I take home the leftovers?
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I'll be there in about 15 minutes, so stop arguing. Okay, thanks. Bye.
The Ugly Truth
3.3s
But that's what worries me. That even you won't be enough.
The Ugly Truth
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Morning, everyone, I'm Larry Freeman. Another beautiful day in Sacramento. And I'm here with a beautiful woman. - Go, 1. - All right, here we go. Thank you, Larry. - I'm Georgia Bordeney. - Ready for the single on Georgia. For years, there have been concerns about lowering television standards. But many believe that this man and his local public-access show... ...have brought things to a new low. With that, we welcome Mike Chadway. How you doing, guys? Mike, how do you respond to people who say your show is offensive? Well, it is. But then again, so is the truth.
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2.7s
He came to surprise me. I...
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20.9s
- Check it out. Your replacement's on. - Jack Magnum. - My what? - How's it going, Jack? Your replacement? Most of you are watching this show so you can learn how to get chicks. Well, let me assure you, you're in good hands. You're looking at a guy... ...who personally has had sex with over 137 women. Most of them conscious.