Found 462 results
44.8s
- I am all over this. - Where are you going? - We're live in two. - It's going great, isn't it? The big, strong, brave men that we've all been reading about... ...in novels and watching in movies since we were 9 years old... ...that's a fallacy. They don't exist. Men are not strong. Men are not brave. Men are afraid. It's all part of the show. It's an Andy Kaufman thing we're doing. Even if they have a moment in a hotel elevator... ... and it's totally romantic and full of potential... ...men are incapable of copping to it. Because why? Men are weak. Let me tell you something about women.
The Ugly Truth
50.3s
Length is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh, but not so short to see vag. - Vag says you're trying too hard. - You think? Jeans are all about the curvature of the ass. You've... Well, you've got the raw materials. Now all you need is the proper presentation. - Did you just tell me I have a nice ass? - Do you have to be so crass? Jesus. Rule number four: never talk about your problems... ...because men don't really listen or care. - Some men care. - No, some men pretend to care. When we ask you how you're doing, it's guy code for: "Let me stick my dick in your ass." Oh, I know you think Colin is above it all, but trust me, he's a guy. If he's even remotely into you... ...he's probably thought about your orifices at least 10 times. I love how you assume all men are as perverse as you are. Oh, I don't assume. I know.
The Ugly Truth
23.1s
Craig Ferguson is his audition. - You can't be serious. - Oh, I'm serious. If Bob and Harold find out about this, we're dead. Now, I need you to fly out there and talk him out of it. I'm going to Lake Tahoe this weekend. Don't let him know that you know. Go ahead and let him do the show, get us our publicity... ...and then convince him that he needs to sign on with us... ...for the next three years. That's all we can do.
The Ugly Truth