Five years of ascent. Pfft. Ten years of-of-of treading water. And now a race to the bottom. Heh. Look, I never had much of a career to speak of, so I can't say I really know how you feel. What are you talking about? You're my stunt double. Come on, now. Shit. Rick, I'm your driver, man. I'm-I'm your gofer. I'm not complaining, man. I like driving you around. I like doing shit around the house and house-sitting in the Hollywood Hills when you're gone. But I haven't been a full-time stuntman for a while now, and from where I'm standing, going to Rome to star in movies does not sound like the fate worse than death that you seem to think it is. Come on, now. You ever seen an-an Italian Western, huh? They're awful. It's a fucking farce. Yeah, how many you seen? One? Two? I've seen enough, all right? Nobody likes Spaghetti Westerns. [INTRODUCTION TO SONG]
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
2.2s
ANNOUNCER: Bounty Law.
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Anybody order fried sauerkraut? [ALL SCREAMING] Burn, you Nazi bastards! Ha-ha-ha! That's you operating the flamethrower, isn't it? Oh, you bet your sweet ass it was. Yeah. - It was you? - Yeah. And let me tell you, that-that's one shit-fuck crazy weapon y-y-you do not wanna be on the wrong side of. Boy, oh, boy. You know, I practiced with that dragon, uh, three hours a day for two weeks. Not just because I wanted to look good in the picture, but because I was... I was shit-scared of the thing, to be honest.
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Mike fucking Lewis! Crisping them Nazis to hell! Oh, shit, that's... All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat? - Rick, it's a flamethrower. - Yeah. So I came to the office early today, and I watched two episodes of Bounty Law on 16 mm. Jody Janice, wanted for cattle rustling in the state of Wyoming, $425 dead or alive.
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[SPEAKS GERMAN] [♪♪♪]
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Starring Rick Dalton. MARVIN: Then a couple of the jokers over in archival sent over a kinescope of a little treat featuring you. ♪ There's an old piano ♪ ♪ And they play it hot Behind the green door ♪ ♪ Don't know what They're doing ♪ ♪ But they laugh a lot Behind the green door ♪ ♪ Wish they'd let me in ♪ ♪ So I can find out What's behind the green door ♪
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And that boy you killed... was Jody Janice. He was the baby boy of Major Nathin Maxwell Janice. Hmm. Who's Major Nathin Maxwell Janice? Well, I'll be sure and introduce you when he gets here. [♪♪♪]
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And you brought him here to collect. I don't even know where here is. It was just the closest place. Caught up with him about five miles outside of town. So, bounty killer, the name of this town is Janicetown.
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But you just get paid for the day - that you cut his hair? - No, no, no. I get paid $1000 a day. I get paid $1000 the day I arrive. - I get paid $1000... - NARRATOR: At El Coyote, margaritas and good times were had by all, except Sharon. Sharon was experiencing a touch of pregnancy-induced melancholy. Not only that, it was later reported that it was the hottest night of the year, and it made her feel especially pregnant in all the worst ways. JAY: I don't want to party anymore. I am tired. [SLURRING] Because he got it done. No, it's not... It's not because he just got it done. He had just as much time as all the rest of the goddamn directors. What he did with that time... That's what counted. NARRATOR: At Casa Vega, Rick and Cliff drank so much that, when they left, they left the Cadillac there and took a cab home. The greatest action director, underrated guy of all time. NARRATOR: Around 10, Sharon and her friends left El Coyote and arrived back at her house.
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[COMMERCIAL PLAYING OVER RADIO]
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NARRATOR: It was after 11:45 by the time the yellow cab dropped Rick and Cliff in front of the house. RICK: Thank you. Right here. CLIFF: All right. Grazie, amigo. [RICK GRUNTS] - RICK: How much do I owe you? - DRIVER: Three dollars. NARRATOR: Brandy was glad to see them return. - Thank you, brother. - Thanks. [SPEAKS ITALIAN] [IN ENGLISH] More margaritas.
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SHARON: You've had, like, 19 margaritas. [PLAYING PIANO] NARRATOR: The four of them hung out a little longer, with Abigail even playing the piano for them... ♪ Don't get me mad Don't tell no lie ♪ ♪ Don't make me sad Don't pass me by ♪ ♪ Baby, are you holding ♪ ♪ Holding anything but me? ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm a real Straight shooter ♪ ♪ If you know what I mean ♪ ♪ You can bring me love You can hang around ♪ ♪ You can bring me up ♪ ♪ Don't you bring me down ♪ NARRATOR: ...until she returned to her room, smoked a joint and read a book. That was around 11.
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Oh, hell, man, stay in L.A. Give it what fer next pilot season. Nah, nah. I'm... I'm... I'm too insecure now to score come pilot season. Screen Gems ain't gonna have nothing good to say about me. - You know that. - Shit. You made Bounty Law. Nobody's gonna forgive me for that last season. - No matter what I do... - Ah... ...I'm always gonna be the horse's ass that got Bounty Law canceled because I wanted some fucking rinky-dink movie career. [SCOFFS] - Tom. My friend. - I met him? No, you haven't met him. You won't meet him because I don't think - you'd like him. - Why? SHARON: Well... [FILM COMMERCIAL] - SHARON: Don't even joke. - A joke? But they're scared.
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[SIGHS]
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OFFICER 4: Hermann! [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] Open the curtains.