Sorry. No. This is nice. You know? I always wanted my ex-wife to get stoned with me. She never would. Really? Wow. That's the cornerstone of any great marriage. I agree. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
Ted 2
10.4s
Mr. Meighan, this is such an honor. Thank you so much for meeting with us. Not at all. It's my pleasure. Please, sit down. Oh, this office is fucking awesome. Yeah, totally. Hey, hey.
Ted 2
7.7s
There you go! Nice job! Jesus. So, listen, I got to ask. Was it just kissing last night? Or was there finger stuff?
Ted 2
5.9s
(CAMERA CLICKS) Oh, what the fuck? What are you doing? Hashtag "My amazing summer."
Ted 2
4.7s
Oh, what do you mean? My parents got him for me when I was a kid. A-ha. They "got him."
Ted 2
2.7s
(HORN HONKS) (SCREAMS) Don't let the goose get me!
Ted 2
3.2s
I think I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice.
Ted 2
1.4s
You ever bring chicks up here?
Ted 2
1.7s
(BROADWAY MUSIC PLAYING)
Ted 2
1.2s
Hmm.
Ted 2
1.6s
Do you love Tami-Lynn?
Ted 2
4.3s
Ted, do you believe you have a soul?
Ted 2
3.7s
So you're saying you are capable of feeling love.
Ted 2
11s
Hey, it must be weird for you guys, having a doll up here on the stand with no kid pointing to where his uncle touched him, huh? (CHUCKLES) Yeah, no, yeah, no. Yeah, lam capable. I love a lot of stuff. Yeah.
Ted 2
17.2s
Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few test questions. Are you ready? Yep, bring it on. You're on the stand, the DA says, "Ted, do you consider yourself to be human?" Objection! Sustained! No, the witness can't object. Overruled! Sidebar? Guilty! Speculation! Hearsay! Briefcase! Bailiff! Disregard! In my chambers! Stop beavering the witness! I rest. We could totally be lawyers. Bang.
Ted 2
15.2s
(STUTTERS) Hey, listen, Sam, I'm real sorry. That barn just came out of nowhere. No, no, it's my fault. I... I, uh... I should never have let you drive. Yeah. You were wrong. You were wrong to do that. Yeah. But that and the trial are the only two things you fucked up. So, uh...
