It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
We need to talk.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
37.5s
So how long have you and premed Richard been together? - Since my freshman year. - I bet he's a tighty whitey guy. - Excuse me? - White, elastic band, constrictive. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear. Like you. Granny panties, I bet. Does that allude to me being the plain, boring type? I just wanted a visual. I think it takes a lot more than the kind of underwear one wears... to define them as a person. Like what? Like their actions. For instance, most people... want to get out of school so they can make money. You're trying to make money to stay in school.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.8s
Maybe seven years of tuition... is a good way to remind him that you're still angry.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
30.6s
Very strange, but good advice. You think about the future too much, you kinda forget about the present... obviously. And I am really enjoying the present right now... sharing a penalty box and a tri-latte with Gwen Pearson... who believes censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself. You actually read that article? Okay, look, I read the damn article, but don't tell anyone... because if word gets out that I read, my reputation-- shot to hell.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
10.5s
Are we gonna get in trouble for being in here? It's cool. Equipment manager owes me a favor. I introduced him to his wife. Life is all about developing relationships, Gwen. I hope you can skate.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13s
What about your future? - You take life way too seriously. - Life is serious. I used to party with this guy who once told me... "Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive."
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
10.3s
So the deal is, I score... you cooperate and answer all my questions? - I miss-- - Dinner for two, me and you. Clothing optional.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5.6s
He used to write for the school paper. He kept babbling about the differences between light and dark beer.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5.1s
My brothers play hockey... for the Rangers.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1.2s
Come on!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
35.6s
Not really. I'm still looking for that dare-to-be-great situation. Maybe you should start looking for that dare-to-be-employed situation. The student body finds Van so intriguing... that my editor has asked me to do an expos� on him... for the school newspaper. Isn't that wonderful? - That will be quite the page-turner. - It'll be a very well-written article. Gwen is an extremely gifted journalist. Are you and Richard in the same fraternity? Oh, no. Van isn't exactly Delta Iota Kappa material. Richard, you rascal, you never told me that you were a DIK. Not that you had to.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
9s
- Yeah. - And thank you. All right, things to remember-- commerce and trade-- Everybody just file out in an orderly fashion.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
I want you to have this.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.5s
And of course, Gwen's father. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Dr. Pearson? - Indeed. - Indeed. Super. All right. So... am I here for a physical? 'Cause I'm gonna need a few cocktails before I start coughing for you fellas.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.8s
- What are you studying, son? - I dabble in a bit of everything. I've tried to experience all that Coolidge has to offer. Surely you have a career in mind.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.6s
I'm gonna go get another bottle of champagne. - Richard, will you help me open it? - Sure.