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8.9s

It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

2.1s

We need to talk.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

37.5s

So how long have you and premed Richard been together? - Since my freshman year. - I bet he's a tighty whitey guy. - Excuse me? - White, elastic band, constrictive. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear. Like you. Granny panties, I bet. Does that allude to me being the plain, boring type? I just wanted a visual. I think it takes a lot more than the kind of underwear one wears... to define them as a person. Like what? Like their actions. For instance, most people... want to get out of school so they can make money. You're trying to make money to stay in school.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

4.8s

Maybe seven years of tuition... is a good way to remind him that you're still angry.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

10.5s

Are we gonna get in trouble for being in here? It's cool. Equipment manager owes me a favor. I introduced him to his wife. Life is all about developing relationships, Gwen. I hope you can skate.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

5.6s

He used to write for the school paper. He kept babbling about the differences between light and dark beer.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

1.2s

Come on!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

15.5s

And of course, Gwen's father. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Dr. Pearson? - Indeed. - Indeed. Super. All right. So... am I here for a physical? 'Cause I'm gonna need a few cocktails before I start coughing for you fellas.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

13.2s

It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

12.6s

- May I help you? - Yeah, I'm Van-- You made it. Evelyn, this is one of your daughter's acquaintances from school. There's room for one more? By all means. Come in, please.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

14.7s

All you need are the three fundamentals-- scented candles... massage oil... and Barry White. Write that down. - Hey, no cock pump. - No cock pump. Barry White.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

9.5s

Excuse me, gentlemen. Van, this is Dr. Henke, proctologist. Oh, well, holy crap. I hope you're not on call tonight.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

4.4s

Hey, guys. Hey, Richard. Is there anything I can do for you today?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

4.7s

Dr. Beaverman, OB-GYN. Van Wilder, G-L-A-D to meet you.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

1.3s

Excuse me, gentlemen.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

6.6s

Hold on. You mean I put my mouth on your cock pump? Oh, damn!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

10.3s

- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

15.4s

I have a date with Naomi tomorrow night... and I just wanted to bring my A game. Taj, come on! That's what I'm here for, right? Now, follow my foolproof plan... and I'm gonna help you put the bang in Banglapur.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

Found 361 results

It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.

We need to talk.

Maybe seven years of tuition... is a good way to remind him that you're still angry.

Are we gonna get in trouble for being in here? It's cool. Equipment manager owes me a favor. I introduced him to his wife. Life is all about developing relationships, Gwen. I hope you can skate.

He used to write for the school paper. He kept babbling about the differences between light and dark beer.

Come on!

And of course, Gwen's father. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Dr. Pearson? - Indeed. - Indeed. Super. All right. So... am I here for a physical? 'Cause I'm gonna need a few cocktails before I start coughing for you fellas.

It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?

- May I help you? - Yeah, I'm Van-- You made it. Evelyn, this is one of your daughter's acquaintances from school. There's room for one more? By all means. Come in, please.

All you need are the three fundamentals-- scented candles... massage oil... and Barry White. Write that down. - Hey, no cock pump. - No cock pump. Barry White.

Excuse me, gentlemen. Van, this is Dr. Henke, proctologist. Oh, well, holy crap. I hope you're not on call tonight.

Hey, guys. Hey, Richard. Is there anything I can do for you today?

Dr. Beaverman, OB-GYN. Van Wilder, G-L-A-D to meet you.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Hold on. You mean I put my mouth on your cock pump? Oh, damn!

- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!

I have a date with Naomi tomorrow night... and I just wanted to bring my A game. Taj, come on! That's what I'm here for, right? Now, follow my foolproof plan... and I'm gonna help you put the bang in Banglapur.