I hope the, uh, Rick Dalton double feature wasn't too painful for you and the... And the missus. [LAUGHS] Oh, no. "Painful." Stop. What are you saying? [♪♪♪] MARVIN: Mary Alice loves Westerns. Our whole courtship, we watched Westerns. - Here you go. - Thanks. MARVIN: And we thoroughly enjoyed Tanner. Oh, that's nice. It's really good. And anyway, she goes to bed. I open up a box of Havanas. I light up, I pour myself a cognac and I watch... The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey. [CHUCKLES] What a picture. - What a picture. - Good picture, yeah. That is so much fun. All the shooting. [IMITATING MACHINE GUN FIRING] [YELLING] I love that stuff. You know, the killing. A lot of killing. Lot of killing, yeah. OFFICER: Now, gentlemen, the plan is, we reverse our forces und drive the Allies back into the sea! [OFFICERS CHATTERING] OFFICER 1: Genius. OFFICER 2: Panzer divisions come in, and we drive them here to the ocean. They'll be up against the wall. - They will have nowhere to go. - OFFICER 3: Yes. This is the spot...
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We had a Rick Dalton double feature in our screening room last night. Oh, well, that's both flattering and-and embarrassing. [CHUCKLES] What'd you see? Thirty-five mm prints of Tanner and The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey. [WHIRRING]
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What are you looking at, bounty killer? I'm looking at an ugly owl-hoot - about to get his jaw busted. - [GRUNTS] Amateurs try and take men in alive.
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[SCREAMS] [GRUNTING]
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NARRATOR: Around midnight, a completely drunk Rick Dalton started making a blender of frozen margaritas.
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[LAWN SPRINKLER WHIRRING]
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[PAPARAZZI CLAMORING]
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[SIGHS]
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[♪♪♪]
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Fifty cents. Hippie girl, 50 cents. [INHALES]
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Thanks a lot.
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Hi. I missed you.
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Join me next week on the set of The Dick Van Dyke Show, where I'll be talking to comical cutups, Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie. Till then, this is Allen Kincade signing off from Hollywood. [BIRDS CHIRPING]
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Wow, man. [SADIE CONTINUES SCREAMING]
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[CAR DOOR OPENS]
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[COMMERCIAL PLAYING OVER RADIO]
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[YELLS] [SCREAMING]
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Ah. Well... since I just finished watching a Rick Dalton fucking film festival, I think I know who you are. Put it there. Well, it's my pleasure, Mr. Schwartz. And thank you for taking an interest. Schwarz, not Schwartz. Ah. G-goddamn it to hell. I'm-I'm sorry about that. - It's my pleasure, Mr. Schwarz. - Call me Marvin. Marvin, call me Rick. - Rick? - Yeah. - Oh, is that your son? - [CHUCKLES] My son? No, that's my stunt double, Cliff Booth. Yeah. - Good to meet you. - We've worked together since the last two seasons of Bounty Law. - Yeah? - My car's in the shop, so he gave me a ride. NARRATOR: That's a big fucking lie. Rick got his driver's license taken away for too many drunk-driving tickets. Cliff drives him everywhere now. Oh, fuck. Well, sounds like a good friend. - I try. - Mm. I wanna send you greetings from my wife, Mary Alice Schwarz. Oh, well, that's nice.