He might've been doing cocaine. Was he doing cocaine recreationally? True cokehead. - Cocaine. - I wonder if he was. [ Audience applauding ] Now, before I bring out the next guy, you guys know tonight is Jell-O shot Tuesday! [ Whoops loudly ]
The Big Sick
2.4s
Nobody's on stage? No.
The Big Sick
20.2s
And we all know what happens after eight Jell-O shots. We urinate all over ourselves and puke. Okay, so I'm gonna bring up the next comic. - Confidence. Poise. - You know this man. Give it up for Mr. Chris Jones! - Smile. - [ Audience cheering ] - DODD: Chris! - He's like if a serial killer fucked an inspirational speaker. He's like Daniel Day-Lewis, except he sucks.
The Big Sick
2.4s
No day has lived up to that day.
The Big Sick
1.5s
We know who you are, Kumail.
The Big Sick
3.4s
Don't you want to move to L.A.? Hang out with Elijah Wood, and shit?
The Big Sick
2.4s
- [ Applause ] - [ Cheering ]
The Big Sick
1.1s
Hello?
The Big Sick
1.6s
KUMAIL: Hello.
The Big Sick
3.7s
There's a massive infection in her lungs, and all her vitals are elevated.
The Big Sick
2.5s
Um, I'll tell you about myself.
The Big Sick
1.6s
You ducking my parents.
The Big Sick
2.5s
- Well, what about C-Dog? - Who's that?
The Big Sick
1.6s
[ Whispering ] I'll be right back.
The Big Sick
1.7s
- AZMAT: Abracadabra. - Okay.
The Big Sick
1.2s
[ Crying ] Stickers.
The Big Sick
1.7s
- I will give you something. - Okay.
The Big Sick
12.8s
Emily's a good person. I'm not saying she's not. All I'm saying is, this is the universe telling you, "Seize your moment. "Be a little selfish and pursue your career." Bob Dalavan's gonna be here on Thursday. If you get the Montreal Comedy Festival, it would change things for you.
