Yeah, 'cause I don't really have any questions. - No. - Other than... When did you get married? When did you get divorced? What's his name? How tall is he? Did you love him? I guess I have a couple questions. Uh-huh.
The Big Sick
7.2s
And I thought, "Huh. I don't think about my husband like that. "But that's okay."
The Big Sick
2.6s
Do you want to talk about something else or...
The Big Sick
8s
I'm glad I like him 'cause I don't want have to, like, come up with excuses to avoid him, you know? Like... Like, "Oh, no. I have kite-surfing tonight."
The Big Sick
7s
Do you need... No, I think I just tweaked my ankle. ...assistance? I took this stupid hip-hop dance class last weekend.
The Big Sick
1.8s
I was gonna tell you about that.
The Big Sick
1s
- Do you... - Totally fine.
The Big Sick
1.8s
That Craig guy?
The Big Sick
5.8s
I'd love to meet them because then I could tell them - what a fucking liar you are! - You know what? You didn't tell me about your divorce until recently.
The Big Sick
5.4s
Oh, my God, the two-day rule. No, that had nothing to do with it. Seriously. Red flag after red flag.
The Big Sick
4.2s
You're such a liar. You lied to me. You lied to your parents.
The Big Sick
2.2s
Is there someone that you're not lying to?
The Big Sick
1.9s
And those are just the people you like.
The Big Sick
1.6s
You ducking my parents.
The Big Sick
1.2s
[ Crying ] Stickers.
The Big Sick
28.8s
You don't want to get stuck in Chicago, right? You don't want to end up like Sam Highsmith, who's been doing the "People say Sam" bit since '03. - SAM: I don't like kids. - [ Audience laughs ] - People say, "Sam..." - See? - Is that what you want? - It's like... Is that what you want for your life? It's amazing. And it's the same material. - SAM: What do people say? - AUDIENCE: Sam. - SAM: People say what? - AUDIENCE: Sam. I'm Sam Highsmith. Thank you very much. You know what, I'm gonna tell him... - He's a hack. - ...how I feel about it. - Fucking tell him. - Never writes anything new. - I'm gonna tell him... - It's fucking bullshit. - Great set, dude. - I'm feeling it, bro. - Killing me, man. - Crushing. Love the new stuff.
The Big Sick
19s
SAM: I don't want kids. People say, "Sam, you're gonna love it. "This kid... You're gonna have a kid, "he's gonna be your best friend." A best friend that... that pukes on you and shits everywhere and is constantly screaming. I already have friends like that. - [ Audience laughs ] - People say, "Sam..." I know you're bummed, all right, but, like...
The Big Sick
12.8s
Emily's a good person. I'm not saying she's not. All I'm saying is, this is the universe telling you, "Seize your moment. "Be a little selfish and pursue your career." Bob Dalavan's gonna be here on Thursday. If you get the Montreal Comedy Festival, it would change things for you.
