Ohh, you're so good. Ohh, yes. I am the best, baby. - Oh, yeah! - Oh. Oh, that was a tit. That is a tit! Yes! Oh, you're so big! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby. - Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone. - Yes! Oh, yeah! I'm bone smugglin', baby. Man, would you shut up! Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. Kiss good night. - Something wrong with the reception? - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - There's... There's this nature show that I'm trying to watch. - Take it off. - And the birds are all scrambled and I can't even... - Do me! Yes! Baby! Ride me like a pony! - The thing must be broken or I sat on the remote or something. - Getting ready for bed, son? - Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set. - Yeah? - No! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels. - Illegal... Illegal channels? - This is just bad reception, honey. - Oh, spank my hairy ass! - What's that? - Ooh, baby! - You know what? Here. Just give me this, please... - Oh, my God! - And let's get this... Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's the matter with this thing? Yes! Yes!
American Pie
46.3s
Laid-back Jim... or... Cool, hip Jim? I don't think it really matters with that shirt you're wearing. What? Correct me if I'm wrong but you're the one with the girlfriend... and you're still stranded on third base. Hey, at least I know what third base feels like, okay? - You're still just a batboy. - Batboy. Batboy. What are you talking about? Guys, uh... What exactly does third base feel like? You wanna take this one? - Like warm apple pie. - Yeah? - Yeah. Apple pie, huh? McDonald's or homemade? Gentlemen, destiny awaits.
American Pie
53.2s
- Finch. - Here's the man we are looking for. - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Same ol'... - Finch. You got the Latin homework? Oh. It means, "My dog ate it." It's Latin. It's a joke. - It's a Latin joke. - Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee. - No, Jim, it's mochaccino. - What? What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino. It's not coffee. 'Nova! What's up, dude? You comin' to the party tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface? Uh, depends if my date wants to stop by. - I'm workin' on somethin' new. - I got an idea about something new. How about you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them! Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick. Oh, right. I'll see you guys tonight. I'll look for you in the no-fucking section.
American Pie
14.1s
- I wish you wouldn't do that. - So, you got something up your sleeve for tonight? This is a foolproof plan, my friend. I have a serious question to ask you guys. Okay. You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick? She might be there tonight. Now, do you think she would prefer...
American Pie
6.4s
All right. I'm shooting for a 9:00 E.T.A. beer in hand by five after. Breath check.
American Pie
1.2s
Party!
American Pie
31.8s
Hey, you think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? You've worn that shirt for, like, three days in a row, man! Guys. She said it. - Said what? - She said she loves me. - Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? - Oh, man! Cornell's not that far from "U" of "M." Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours. Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. - Beautiful country. - Whatever. It's doable. Wh-What we should do today, in band. Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. - That'll be so funny! - Yeah.
American Pie
18.8s
Illegal channels? Shit! If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. - Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah. Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? - No. - Ariel, man. She's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. - Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
American Pie
3.4s
Thank you.
American Pie
12.4s
- You called me Oz. - Well, yeah. It's what your friends call you. I mean, I feel like I'm one of your friends now. And... your girlfriend?
American Pie
9.5s
All right. Listen, thanks for understanding. Yeah. So, uh, I guess I'll see you later?
American Pie
8.8s
I got some scotch. - Single malt? - Aged 18 years. The way I like it.
American Pie
4m48s
# Do do do do do do do # # Do do do do do do do # # Do do do do do do do # # Do do do do do do do ## # Chickety China, the Chinese chicken, have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' # # Watchin' X Files with no lights on # # We're dans la maison I hope the Smoking Man's in this one # # Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic # # Like Sting I'm tantric Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy # # Like Sting I'm tantric Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy # # Like Kurosawa I make mad films # # Okay, I don't make films but if I did they'd have a samurai # # Gonna get a set of better clubs, gonna find the kind with tiny nubs # # So my irons aren't always flyin' off the backswing # # Gonna get in tune with Sailor Moon 'cause that cartoon # # Has got the boom anime babes that make me think the wrong thing # # How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad # # Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad # # I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral # - Sweetheart? - # Can't understand what I mean You soon will # # It's been one week since you looked at me # # Dropped your eyes to the side and said, I'm sorry ## # Dropped your eyes to the side and said, I'm sorry ## # Hello to your mother your brother significant other # # I am the summertime # # And I'm here to free your mind # # Kick off your shoes the blues and use anything but your mind # # 'Cause this is the summertime # # And it's here to free your mind # # How many other people can you save today # # Don't you think it's high time that you sail away # # Leave today Don't fall behind # # Try something new, turn into you if only for a short time # # I am the summertime # # And I'm here to free your mind ## # Love is tragic Love is bold # # You will always do what you are told # # Love is hard Love is strong # # You will never say that you were wrong # # I don't know when I got bitter # # Love is surely better when it's gone # # 'Cause you wanted more # # More than I could give # # More than I could handle # # And a life that I can't live # # You wanted more # # More than I could bear # # More than I could offer # # And a love that isn't there # # Love is color Love is love # # Love is never saying you're too proud # # Love is trusting Love is honest # # Love is not a hand that holds you down # # I don't know when I got bitter # # Love is surely better when it's gone # # 'Cause you wanted more # # More than I could give # # More than I could handle # # And a life that I can't live # # You wanted more # # More than I could bear # # More than I could offer # # And a love that isn't there # # I gotta pick me up when I am down # # I gotta get my feet back on the ground # # I gotta pick me up when I am down # # I don't know when I got bitter # # But love is surely better when it's gone # # 'Cause you wanted more # # More than I could give # # More than I could handle # # And a life that I can't live # # You wanted more ##
American Pie
2.2s
Huddle up, guys! Huddle up!
American Pie
4.7s
We were friends with Stifler? Hey, look.
American Pie
17.7s
Next year with you going to Ann Arbor... and me going to Ithaca, it's not gonna work, is it? No. Don't say that. I mean, we could make it work. - It'll be perfect. - No, Kevin.
American Pie
3.9s
- Okay. - All right.
American Pie
7.6s
Oh! I almost forgot. I, uh, I bought some magazines. Do you just want to flip to the center section?