So, I know you're a comedian. You been working on any new material? You wanna tell us a joke?
Joker
2.6s
Okay, okay. Here's one.
Joker
11.3s
Knock, knock. Who's there? It's the police, ma'am. Your son's been hit by a drunk driver. He's dead.
Joker
14.6s
Breaking news. Popular TV talk show host, Murray Franklin was shot dead tonight on the live telecast of his program. The man who was introduced by Franklin as "Joker" is currently under arrest. Police led the suspect handcuffed out of the studio.
Joker
16.6s
Oh, my God. I hated school as a kid. But my mother would always say, "You should enjoy it. One day, you'll have to work for a living." "No, I won't, Ma. I'm gonna be a comedian."
Joker
27.4s
I think... I think most women look at sex like buying a car. You know, like, "Can I see myself in this long-term?" "Is it safe?" "Is it reliable?" "Could it kill me?" Most guys, we look at sex like parking a car. We're like, "There's a spot." "There's another spot. That would work." "Oh, I have to pay? Never mind." "Handicapped? I hope no one sees this."
Joker
1.7s
Police! Signs down!
Joker
37.7s
I heard this song on the radio the other day, and the guy was singing that his name was Carnival. Arthur... Which is crazy, because that's my clown name at work. And until a little while ago, it was like nobody ever saw me. Even I didn't know if I really existed. Arthur, I have some bad news for you. You don't listen, do you?
Joker
5.6s
Randall, I'm not supposed to have a gun.
Joker
1m18s
That's better. Bruce! Bruce! Get away from that man. It's okay. I'm a good guy. What are you doing? Who are you? I'm here to see Mr. Wayne. Well, you shouldn't be speaking to his son. Why did you give him these flowers? No, they're not real. It's magic. I was just trying to make him smile. Well, it's not funny, is it? Do I need to call the police? No. Please. My mother's name is Penny. Penny Fleck. She used to work here years ago. Can you please tell Mr. Wayne I need to see him? You are her son. Yeah. Did you know her? I know about the two of them. She told me everything. There's nothing to know. There is no "them." Your mother was delusional. She was a sick woman. Don't say that. Just go. Mmm? Before you make a fool of yourself. Thomas Wayne is my father.
Joker
12.1s
What happened? - Who are you? - I'm her son. - What happened? - You can probably help us out inside. We don't know what happened yet. - Hop in the back of the ambulance. - Step. One more. We got one more lift. I'm getting a little resistance here, Michael.
Joker
4.5s
Keep the respirations above 15. Slow and steady. We got some stairs coming up.
Joker
5.3s
He left me. Let go! Let go!
Joker
1.2s
Hmm.
Joker
1.3s
Mom?
Joker
14.5s
He's an extraordinary man, Happy. He's a very powerful man. We were in love. He said it was best that we not be together because of appearances.