Hello, Hoyt. Gary said you wanted to see me. How's the comedy career? Are you a famous stand-up yet? Not quite. Just been working on my material. No, don't sit. This'll be quick. Look, I like you, Arthur. You know, a lot of the guys, they think you're a freak, but I like you.
Joker
17.9s
Because I got jumped. Didn't you hear? For a sign? That's bullshit. It doesn't even make sense. Just get him his sign back. He's going out of business, for God's sake, Arthur. Why would I keep his sign? How the fuck do I know? Why does anybody do anything?
Joker
11.3s
I don't even know why I like you. But I got another complaint. It's starting to piss me off. Kenny's Music. The guy said you disappeared. Never even returned his sign.
Joker
4.5s
If you don't return the sign, I gotta take it out of your paycheck.
Joker
2s
Punch him in the dick, Gary.
Joker
2.7s
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Joker
1.5s
Are we clear?
Joker
13.7s
I'm telling you, she wanted my number. We should've just stayed. You're dreaming, man. She wasn't interested at all. Are you nuts? Did you see how close we were dancing? She was in love. She couldn't wait to get away from you. Ryan! Ryan, am I crazy? Tell him what you saw.
Joker
3.2s
Jefferson Street. Next stop, Ninth Ave.
Joker
1m16s
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to... ♪ Hoyt, please, I love this job. Arthur, I need to know why you brought a gun into a kids' hospital. It's a prop. It's part of my act now. That's bullshit. Bullshit. What kind of clown carries a fucking gun? Besides, Randall told me you tried to buy a .38 off him last week. Randall told you that? You're a fuck-up, Arthur, and a liar. You're fired!
Joker
43.2s
- Oh, hey. - Hey. Were you following me today? Yeah. I thought that was you. I was hoping you'd come in and rob the place. I have a gun. I could come by tomorrow. You're so funny, Arthur. Yeah. You know, I do stand-up comedy. You should maybe come see a show sometime. I could do that. Yeah? Yeah. You'll let me know when? Yeah.
Joker
16.2s
It's something I'll address once I have tenure, but for now... She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis, I think I might be in danger of failing your 'Intro to Western Civ, ' and I just want you to know I'm willing to do anything to pass." And I said, "Anything?" And she said...
Joker
7.7s
It's Monday and Wednesday, three to five. She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis." I can't use my real last name at this college 'cause they don't hire Jews.
Joker
7.7s
I know. I know. Why is she a senior in the intro? I didn't buy it either. So, she comes to me during my office hours.
Joker
4s
...and my wife is a senior in my "Intro To Western Civ."
Joker
4.5s
So, I'll tell you how I operate. I'm a professor at a prestigious New England university...
Joker
14.9s
It's nice to see these couples out at my show. I have a wife. We love to role-play. - Ooh! - Yes, yes, very sexy. My favorite one right now is professor and senior who really needs to pass my class to graduate.
