Sorry I'm late. There was a bunch of handicapable children who were stuck in a tree. No.No. But I did have to help a kid.Yeah. He's got a terrible name. It's just awful. Ugh. I tried to tell him.
Deadpool 2
24.6s
Bye, Wade! Now, some ground rules while under our roof. "Rule number one. No killing... "anyone ever, no matter how bad. "Rule two. Label everything in refrigerator." Wade? Wade? Don't try to chase me. Wade! I'm not ready to be touched again. All these old guys on the wall. Who lives here, Calista Flockhart?
Deadpool 2
2.8s
[OVERLAPPING VOICES]
Deadpool 2
1.5s
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Deadpool 2
45.9s
I'm glad everybody dropped by. You must be wondering why I didn't call you here. I'll tell you why I'm here. "The Time Traveler's Wife's" husband... beat me within an inch of my life. He was torturing me! But all I told him was everything he wanted to know. So, I'm here to help us gear up. So we can go after him without me. WADE: No! I'm doing this alone. The Juggernaut will kill you all. Fair enough. WADE: I just need a couple of hours to get some legs under me. What will you do? WADE: I don't care what the kid did to me. I ain't letting Cable get to him, even if I have to teabag him to death. It's really just a sip of tea at this point. Zip it, black Black Widow! I'm flowing. The first order of business is to get me in front of Cable... so I can pull all the fucking blood out of his body... and fashion his bones into holiday jewelry. Then, I'm gonna take his skin... and stretch it out over a homemade mating drum.
Deadpool 2
1.2s
Whoo!
Deadpool 2
1m6s
You time-sliding son of a bitch! You did this for me? Wait. You can't go back. You used the last of your fuel. What about your girl, your wife? Now, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you. No, I'm gonna stick around for a while... and make sure the world doesn't shit itself into oblivion. No. You did it for me. No, I didn't. You did. I really didn't. Pretty sure you did. No, I'm positive I didn't. Fine. All right, let's flip a coin. Okay? Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me. I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me. Say it again. He did it for me. CABLE: Jesus. We must get the collar off. Forget it. It's no use. These collars don't just come off. Wade. I have an idea. No, no, no! Let's not do that. Please! I'd rather die of cancer. Let's just... Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword. [COLLAR BUZZING] RUSSELL: We need the code. Try, uh, seven? DEADPOOL: Settle down, Captain Lucky. It's not gonna be one number. Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
Deadpool 2
2.8s
Welcome home, Russell. We missed you.
Deadpool 2
1.5s
It's fulfilling work.
Deadpool 2
2.7s
I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Wade.
Deadpool 2
1.9s
[CHOIR SINGING]
Deadpool 2
7.6s
Skee-Ball token. Our first date. Yup. That's genuine, high-grade lead.
Deadpool 2
3.3s
Vanisher. Maybe the wind can't blow what it can't see.
Deadpool 2
14.8s
It's not time. What do you mean it's not time? I'm here, I made it. You can't stay. No, no, no. I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere without you. It's okay. There's a time for us. It's just not now.
Deadpool 2
8.5s
I don't have a sock puppet on me... but what did he do to you? Did he taste the rainbow? I'd whisper it, but Skittles would sue us.