Okay, um, I'm gonna need you to, uh, put your heels over your head so I can start to go to town on your taint and your butthole. - Yep. - Great. Thanks. - Alright. - Okay. Let's get these out of the way. Right. There we go. Great, great, great. Carla, uh... At the risk of sounding forward um, would you be willing to come with me to my Sexy Santa Competition tonight? Uh, well, I-I don't date my clients, Ty. I have a really strict code. Yeah. Oh, of course you do. Are you kidding me? I know. And I know. And-and you should. You should have a... I'm just fuckin' with you, Ty. I don't have a code! I'm waxing your butthole. I would love to go to your show. - You would? - Yes! Yes! Oh, my God. She's funny and she's beautiful. This is a combination you don't run into every day, you know. Well, you don't see this combo that often, either. So it's a date, then. I'll see you tonight. It's a date. Oh, um, do you want me to reach down there and-and I can pull my butt crack open for you if you want. Thank you. No one's ever asked if they could hold their butt crack open for me before. I'll hold my butt crack open for you anytime you want, Carla.
A Bad Moms Christmas
2.1s
Anyone else here for a wax?
A Bad Moms Christmas
7.3s
Hey, mom, look what Santa got me. A used baseball glove. Oh, that's great, buddy. I used to have one just like it.
A Bad Moms Christmas
14.8s
Okay, you know what? Alright, alright, Santa number one. The audience has spoken. Thank you. Such a good sport. Such a good sport. Alright. Now. Bring it to the stage, my man Santa number two!
A Bad Moms Christmas
2.5s
How you doin' tonight, Chicago?
A Bad Moms Christmas
3.1s
Oh. That is a lot of white skin.
A Bad Moms Christmas
1m0s
Eh, fuck it. Here. It's a loan. It's a loan. I mean, this is not everything you asked for, but... - Oh, no, that's great! - Basically all I have. Thank you so much. This is a loan. I will pay you back, I swear. I really have my shit together now. Thanks. Whoa! Hey! Sir, Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! Would you like to donate your cans to our Canned Food Drive? We're collecting for a drive for the homeless. - Yikes. I just bought all this. - And the canned goods. - You know, this is important. - The fuck is this? Uh, that's fennel. - Oh, fuck it. - So happy. Thank you so much. Oh, shit. Manager. Manager's coming. Code red, code red. Go, go, go. Mom! Where did we park? - Where did we park? - Happy Hanukkah. - Where did we park? - Go, go, go, go. They just totally stole all my shit. Taking this, though. This is cute, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, guys. So since it's Christmas Eve, everybody gets to open one present, okay? Oh! Kiki. Hey, Kiki, Kiki. Open mine. Please open mine first. Please. - I'll go first. I guess. - Okay.
A Bad Moms Christmas
49.2s
Now, your mother and I just have a few tiny disagreements about the importance of Christmas and what it means to be a mother and the sanctity of marriage and how best to raise children. But otherwise, everything is fine. There's no reason to worry, okay? Look, I know this is your first Christmas since your parents got divorced. And it's probably a little strange for you. Am I right? - Yeah. - Yeah. It really is. Well, first of all both of your parents still love you so very much. And no matter what happens I will always be there for you. Always. Because you're my grandkids, and I love you more than anything in the whole world. And so does Grandpa Hank. I know his brain is the size of a walnut but you know, his heart is enormous.
A Bad Moms Christmas
27.3s
I can't believe people fall for this shit. It's so stupid. - Yeah, I know. - Oh wait, here comes somebody. - Merry Christmas! - Oh, Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, hold on. Hey, would you like to, uh, donate your canned goods to our Christmas Canned Food Drive? Oh, um, I sort of just bought all this. - Bingo. She's got cans. - Oh! Oh, mom, look, look, look. She's got wine. Thank you very much for a very generous donation to the "Canned Christmas Food Drive." The children are gonna be so happy.
A Bad Moms Christmas
20.9s
Do you mean that? Yeah. You know, when we were at the bouncy place with, um... what's his name? - Oh, my son, Jaxon? - Yeah, him. Um, I was watching you two and you were beating the shit out of each other with those sticks, and I thought "You know, maybe I should have a relationship with my grandson." Well, we'd, um, we'd love to see you more.
A Bad Moms Christmas
1.5s
What's the matter?
A Bad Moms Christmas
1.5s
Well, um...
A Bad Moms Christmas
20.8s
I gotta get back to Cleveland tomorrow. - Right. - But, uh... Think I could give you a call next time I come into town? Would that... that interest you at all? Could I do that? - Please. - Yeah? - Yes. - Great. I'd, I'd wax your balls for free. That is so sweet. Well, I would really love that, Carla.
A Bad Moms Christmas
13.3s
- I would love to. - Good. But, um... You know, I think this is my mom's third concussion this month and I'm just... Wow, that's a lot of concussions. Better stay with her for observation. Yeah.
A Bad Moms Christmas
31.8s
♪ Bells will be ringing ♪ ♪ The glad glad news ♪ ♪ Oh what a Christmas ♪ ♪ You have the blues ♪ ♪ My baby's gone ♪ ♪ I have no friends ♪ ♪ To wish me greetings ♪ ♪ Mm ♪ ♪ Once again ♪♪
A Bad Moms Christmas
12.4s
Okay, time for bed, my darlings. Tonight, I am going to sing you "My Heart Will Go On" by seven-time Grammy winner, Celine Dion. Mm-hm?
A Bad Moms Christmas
6s
And so would my balls. Well. Consider it done. And, uh...