Oh, my God! Yeah, that's the way she is. She sees trouble and she wants to help out, and I guess one of these dogs clamped his jaws on her forearm and wouldn't let go until the fireman showed up and stuck his finger in his ass.
Ted
7s
To step up and change such a huge part of your life just to make your girlfriend happier...
Ted
5.9s
I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight and I would love it if you would go with me.
Ted
4.8s
That, even after four years, you can still surprise me.
Ted
11.8s
You know, Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw you on television. And I thought you were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. Ever.
Ted
2.3s
RECORDED TOY VOICE: I love you!
Ted
8.2s
HEY HEY John, I hope that...“ Listen, I don't want you to think that... (CELL PHONE RINGING)
Ted
27.6s
Marilyn? No. Britney? Tiffany? No. No. Candice? No. Don't fuck with me on this. I know this shit! Do you see me fucking with you? All right, speed round. I'm going to rattle off some names and when I hit it, fucking buzz it. I will tell you. You got me? All right, Brandi, Heather, Channing, Breanna, Amber, Sabrina, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tami, Lauren, Charlene, Chantal, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noelle, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Earline, Claudine, Savannah, Kasey, Dolly, Kendra, Carla, Chloe, Devon, Emmylou. Fucking Becky? No.
Ted
3.3s
Hey, Jared, let's go grab another one of these.
Ted
1.4s
(SINGING)
Ted
6.2s
"Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit." My God, America is imploding.
Ted
4.5s
So, work's good? Everything good, there? Yeah. Yeah, work's good.
Ted
6.1s
Daddy punished me for it. That's a great story. I felt like I was there. Daddy gave me an ouch.
Ted
3.7s
I don't know. Where is he? I don't know. He just said he was in trouble.
Ted
5.7s
The night we met. This is the theme song from the movie Octopussy.
Ted
1.5s
(BOTTLE TINKLING)
Ted
1.2s
What?
Ted
22.9s
Oh, thank you. Thanks. Yeah. I'm Donny, this is Robert. I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy and I remember seeing you on the Carson show. You were just wonderful. Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview. Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments. He thought ALF was Jewish for some reason. Have you ever considered selling the bear?