Up the dog's ass, right? Yeah, up the dog's, not the fireman's ass. I thought the fireman stuck his own finger up his own ass. No, I don't think a firefighter would do that. Go, take care of it. Let me know how she is. Thank you. Go.
Ted
4.1s
See, that's why I watch these things. That's like a cool behind-the-scenes thing that you wouldn't know.
Ted
2.4s
Holy shit. Oh, my God. What?
Ted
1.2s
Oh.
Ted
10.6s
You? You know, not bad actually. I met a girl. She's a cashier. No way, that's awesome! Yeah. Well, we should fucking double-date, or something. You, me and Lori, and what's her name? White trash name. Guess.
Ted
4.9s
Trust me, I can do this. Shut up. Let him try it, man. All right, fuck it.
Ted
2.2s
I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.
Ted
1.2s
(SIGHS)
Ted
21.8s
Well, I am a former celebrity in a minimum wage job. This is how the cast of Diff'rent Strokes feels. All day, every day. Just awful. They must feel awful. The live ones must feel awful. Come on. It's not that bad, okay? I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
Ted
6.7s
Even Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt. Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
Ted
5.4s
REX: That was insane. Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground? He was like a ragdoll.
Ted
5.2s
Woody Harrelson. Smallest dick I've ever seen on a man. (BOTH LAUGHING)
Ted
1.2s
JOHN: Shit!
Ted
5.2s
Uh... Cocaine, right? Come on, dudes. Don't tell me you never done it before.
Ted
4.4s
All right, Kareem! (GLASS SHATTERING) Ah! You suck, Kareem.
