I don't know, I got fucking wasted last night. My phone says I texted someone at 3:15, asking them to beat me up.
Ted
9.7s
Wait, was it any one of those names with a "Lynn" after it? Yes. I got you, motherfucker. I got you. Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn, Channing... Tami-Lynn. Fuck!
Ted
1.2s
We sure did.
Ted
1.4s
(GRUNTING)
Ted
1.2s
(GASPS) Ooh!
Ted
1.3s
(METAL SCRAPING)
Ted
15s
(SINGING) Oh, my little sixpence My pretty little sixpence Stop it. Knock it off. I love my sixpence Better than my life Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place? You took it to a very... Now it's real. Now it's a real thing. Come on. Take it easy. All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.
Ted
11.2s
Never mind. Take her to Benihana. John, look, don't you think after four years maybe she's hoping for something more than dinner? Like what? I don't know, but if it were me, I'd be expecting a proposal.
Ted
7s
NARRATOR: John was just about the happiest boy in the world and he couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news.
Ted
1.6s
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Ted
1.6s
You know I love you.
Ted
1.6s
How do you know?
Ted
1.2s
Go away.
Ted
10.6s
You? You know, not bad actually. I met a girl. She's a cashier. No way, that's awesome! Yeah. Well, we should fucking double-date, or something. You, me and Lori, and what's her name? White trash name. Guess.
Ted
9.8s
(SIGHS) Fuck it. Fine. Fine. It sure as hell beats crying myself to sleep every night. And if that means getting you off my back, well, that's just a bonus. I'll pick you up at 8:00.
Ted
3.5s
You know, your boss called this morning asking me how my arm was.
