Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Ted
1.3s
(TED GRUNTING)
Ted
1.4s
(GRUNTS)
Ted
1.2s
Excuse me.
Ted
2s
I gotta fuck her again.
Ted
11.2s
Never mind. Take her to Benihana. John, look, don't you think after four years maybe she's hoping for something more than dinner? Like what? I don't know, but if it were me, I'd be expecting a proposal.
Ted
7s
I don't know, I got fucking wasted last night. My phone says I texted someone at 3:15, asking them to beat me up.
Ted
1.6s
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Ted
15s
(SINGING) Oh, my little sixpence My pretty little sixpence Stop it. Knock it off. I love my sixpence Better than my life Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place? You took it to a very... Now it's real. Now it's a real thing. Come on. Take it easy. All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.
Ted
9.7s
Wait, was it any one of those names with a "Lynn" after it? Yes. I got you, motherfucker. I got you. Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn, Channing... Tami-Lynn. Fuck!
Ted
1.4s
Back off, Susan Boyle!
Ted
1.7s
(THUNDER CRASHING) (SCREAMS)
Ted
1.8s
I got to go.
Ted
8.5s
That's the new checkout girl. Don't know her name. Seems cute. Yeah, very cute. Do you know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.
Ted
5.9s
What I meant to say was Ted's very handsome so I'm always interested in meeting the lady that can snatch him up.
Ted
2.7s
Isn't love enough? I submit that love is enough.
Ted
1.4s
(SINGING)
Ted
7.2s
You know, you had no business being out on that dance floor, but I'm really happy that you were. (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
