Duration: 2m8s

She's not coming back, is she? No. What is the matter with her? - You really wanna know? - Yeah. Your mom was probably pretty normal before she had you. But then you were born. And you didn't sleep for six months so she didn't sleep for six months. And you refused to eat, and when you did eat you would barf all over her clothes. And that made your mom a little crazy. And then you fell off your bike and you broke your arm. And then you got bullied in school. And then you started dating that weird dude with the stick through his nose. And all those things made your mom a little more crazy. And then you got married. And you bought a house you can't afford. And you're raising kids who never say "Please" or "Thank you." Shit, they can't even read. And all those things made your mom super-duper crazy. And now you come into my office, and you go "Dr. Karl, why is my mom so crazy?" And the answer is... you, motherfucker. You made your mom crazy. So be nice to your mom, 'cause you're the one who fucked her shit up. ♪ You make it feel like Christmas ♪♪ We are gonna dominate caroling this year. What are you wearing? Sweetie, if you wanna win the Caroling Cup you have to have a theme. Which is why we are all going as characters from "A Christmas Carol." - Oh, my God! - Dylan, you're Marley's Ghost. Jane, you are the Ghost of Christmas Present. Oh, great. And Amy, you're Scrooge. Oh. Wow, thanks, mom. I just think it's appropriate, given how much you seem to hate Christmas this year. Mother, I don't hate Christmas. And here is everyone's sheet music. I'd hoped we'd all be off-book by now. - This is a lot of songs. - Well... Every home in Westbury gets to vote on who wins the Cup. So we have to hit at least 300 houses tonight. Three hundred? Don't worry. We have back-up. Come on in, everybody. Please welcome the Chicago All Saints Choir. You hired ringers? I did what I needed to do to succeed, Amy. You should try it sometime. Okay, fine. We'll go caroling. But I'm not wearing this ridiculous costume.