Duration: 3m4s

You have the sweetest, most adorable kids I've ever met in my life. Like, I can't believe they came out of Ray. I know. And you know what? You know what the thing is about Ray? I never say a bad word about him in front of the kids, which is very difficult because he's a cunt. Yeah, I-I can imagine. Well, I'm not one of your kids, so have at it. Let it all out. Tell me everything. Do you know he is fighting to actively not have custody of his kids? - You can do that? - Yeah. - That's insane. - I know. Who wouldn't want to hang with your kids? Who wouldn't want to hang out with those kids? What monster wouldn't want to hang out with those kids? Every second! Your daughter sang the other day. What did she sing? Something from, like, Oklahoma! or something, and-and I hate that shit, and I fucking loved it. She's such a little angel. - Mm. - I-I thought she was a robot for, like, the first couple days I was hanging out with her. I know. She's so perfect. What a fucking putz. Yeah, so he only wants to see them on Wednesday night for dinner and Sunday. - You can't just pick and choose. - And, uh... No, you can't. What are your kids, the NFL package? - Wait, you're only... Yeah. - Yeah. But why would you want your kids, really, if you don't have an apartment and you sleep at the firehouse? I mean, you... Unbelievable. What kind of a grown man can't afford his own apartment in Staten Island? Fucking loser. He lost all our money gambling. He is homeless, he's penniless, and he's a deadbeat dad. What is your mom doing with him? You know, my mom hasn't gotten laid in 17 years, so I think her bar is pretty low. Really? Yeah. He's good in bed, I hate to say it. All right. Well, I didn't really need to know that. Yeah. He's got a beautiful cock. I mean, it's the... it's his only attribute. That big thick cock kept me in it for eight years longer than I should have stayed. It's a fact. I knew I smelled you. - The fuck, Scott? - What? Huh? What, are you spying on me now? - You Magnum, P.I.? - What? Telling your mom that I'm homeless? You think it's funny to tell her that I'm a loser? What are you talking... No. What? What do you mean, what am I talking about? You've been speak... You talking to my ex-wife? Uh, yeah. She's actually a really nice person. - Oh, is she? Why don't you marry her? - Yeah. Why don't you marry her and see what the fuck happens? Hey, I'm just trying to protect my mom from you, okay? You're a fucking psychopath. - Oh, I'm a psychopath? - Yeah. I've been nothing but nice to you! I tried giving you direction. You're too busy smoking your fucking weed. And all you've been doing is trying to destroy everything that I have with Margie. Because you're a fucking loser, dude! You're a, you're a degenerate gambler in your-your mid-50s, who bets on the Jets. Uh, who... Have you not learned anything about betting? - The Jets are gonna come back! - No, they're not! They got three number one fucking picks! They're never gonna come back! They're never gonna come back! I'm trying to give your mother a good life! I... No, you're not, okay? You're a piece of shit, dude. You're a fucking drug addict! I'm a piece of shit? Yeah, you're a piece of shit! I'm a fucking loser? You're the biggest loser I ever met in my fucking life! - Oh, really? You should know. - Yeah! Yeah! You surround yourself with them. - Oh, yeah? Why don't you try me? - Oh, really? Why don't you try me? Yeah, yeah, yeah... This ain't gonna go how you think it's gonna go. So why don't you get the fuck out of my... Really?